Monkey's Dad's definitions

Vaccophobe

Someone with an irrational fear of the Covid-19 vaccine.

"If I die, I die", she said. "I'm not letting anyone convince me I need that shot". And no one convinced her, and she went maskless to her early grave, a proud vaccophobe, and an example of how America had been made "great again".

by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021

barborian

A professional haircutter who won't stop chattering about dull trivia.

He sat in the chair, prepared for the barborian to give him a trim and a temporary lobotomy. He did not care who Justin Bieber was dating, what next week's weather was supposed to be, or who might have a shot at the playoffs.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Guitnarcolepsy

Falling asleep whilst playing the guitar, a nocturne in the key of Z.

Happens every time. He starts to practice and is soon having a rest, a clear case of guitnarcolepsy.

by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2023

I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

Charlatantrum

A temper tantrum thrown by an unqualified charlatan president, when questioned, opposed or exposed for his ignorance, pretense and lies.

"I say you're a terrible reporter!" the president fumed, when asked what he might say to reassure the American people. It was untethered to the real world, just another charlatantrum, meant to disguise his unfitness but only revealing it.

by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020

postcognitive

Knowledge which arrives after it might have. Seeing something clearly, once it has passed. Understanding everything just a bit too late.

The opposite of precognitive.

He knew the answer he should have given in the job interview, saw why Dianah had left him for the plumber, understood that the X-Ray Specs ad was probably bogus, and as always, his understanding was postcognitive.

by Monkey's Dad March 3, 2020

The Grim Sower

The Grim Reaper's silent partner, spreading an invisible virus.

The Grim Sower moved with stealth, planting the invisible seeds of sickness in preparation for his more-famous friend, The Grim Reaper, to finish the job.

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2020