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Monkey's Dad's definitions

catch-and-kill

To buy the rights, or otherwise pay, to prevent a news story from being published. The title of Ronan Farrow's new book on the subject.
American Media Inc., allegedly engaged in catch-and-kill to control negative stories about Donald Trump's involvement with porn star Stormy Daniels. Similarly, Republican members of The Bohemian Grove paid to prevent release of the 1981 film "Star Spangled Boner" starring John Holmes as Ronald Reagan.
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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Last Man on Earth

Effectively, the man any woman happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.
"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last man on earth."
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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Last Woman on Earth

Effectively, the woman any man happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.
"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last woman on earth."
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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medical professional

A nurse, doctor, orderly, chaplain or other member of hospital staff, worthy of our most profound respect and gratitude.
Any medical professional is placing themself at the highest levels of risk for contracting the virus, yet they come to work and give more than is required, inadequately protected and knowing that many of their colleagues are already infected and are suffering.
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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Silent Spring

The title of a non-fiction account, published in 1962, of the environmental damage caused by pesticides, written by Rachel Carson, with great foresight.
"Silent Spring" carried eerie echoes, he thought, seeing the trees outside his window beginning to flower, the earth returning to life in a largely silenced human world. Spring of 2020 would be a season of great and unsettling quietude.
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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teaching your dog to drive

A polite suggestion that someone has admirable faith while being out of touch with reality.
"Brilliant idea, truly, but you're teaching your dog to drive."
by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020
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Coronal Retentive

Excessively orderly and fussy, paying too much attention to detail, as the result of being locked in during the coronaviral era.
She had always been relaxed and carefree. But with nowhere to go and no one to see, she reorganized every item in the bathroom cabinet by size, color and alphabetical order, and worried she was becoming coronal retentive.
by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020
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