Monkey's Dad's definitions
An unsolicited photo of a person's genitalia. The politically correct term for what was long known as "indecent exposure", borrowed from the whole baby-coming-out-party idiocy.
She was neither shocked nor offended by Jared's sending her a dick pic an hour after their first date, as if he was unsure whether he was actually a man. She was fairly certain he was, and was not in need of the gender reveal.
by Monkey's Dad June 14, 2021
Get the Gender Reveal mug.An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid then demonstrably with vaccophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, vacchophobes listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had themselves been quietly vaccinated, tell them that it was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
Get the Vaccophobia mug.Asked of anyone who steps up to fill a leadership vacuum, by those who are just standing around complaining and looking lost.
Often followed by the word "God", in a variety of ways.
Often followed by the word "God", in a variety of ways.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
Get the who appointed you? mug.A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.
The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.
by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020
Get the hypoinsomnichondriac mug.... as asked by Republican Senator Ted Cruz of prospective Supreme Court justice Amy Coney Barrett, to ascertain her judicial ideology and fitness to sit on the bench.
The four questions Cruz asked:
1) How long have you played the piano?
2) Do the kids do piano lessons as well?
3) You and your husband have seven kids. How did you manage with the distance learning? What was that like in the Barrett household?
4) What advice would you give little girls?
1) How long have you played the piano?
2) Do the kids do piano lessons as well?
3) You and your husband have seven kids. How did you manage with the distance learning? What was that like in the Barrett household?
4) What advice would you give little girls?
by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020
Get the The Four Questions mug.The March 19, 2020 lockdown, falling on the Vernal Equinox - the time when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator, making night and day of equal length.
The Vernal Equilox, everyone in lockdown, endless night following endless day, no one outdoors to observe or to celebrate, Netflix flowing seamlessly into Prime Video.
by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020
Get the Vernal Equilox mug.An experience of life without time. The absence of a temporal dimension. An intensification of simultemporal experience, in which past, present and future are equidistant and simultaneous.
Having grown accustomed to simultemporal experience - living time all at once, rather than sequentially - he was increasingly forced to acknowledge states which were vacuutemporal, wherein the sense of time in any form dissolved.
by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021
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