Monkey's Dad's definitions

Quaranteenager

A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.

Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

icwfytgu

I can't wait for you to grow up

An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.

Again, her birthday, and again... turning twelve. What could he say? With steady fingers he texted "icwfytgu", secure in their shared understanding that she would remain twelve for the coming year, and for those to follow.

by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021

What happened to you?

A stunningly inappropriate and thoughtless question often blurted toward a handicapped person, the only proper answer to which is "Don't ask".

"What happened to you?" asked the seemingly civilized man of the woman who was struggling mightily to take each halting step. Yet she needed no reminder of how hard it was to move, or of how many years she had been in pain. She was under no obligation to answer the moronic stranger, who in any event seemed to want no answer and quickly began prattling about his skiing accident, years ago, which he believed would be fascinating to a woman with a permanent handicap, but, please... don't ask.

by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2023

The Halls of Epidemia

Classes on Zoom.

Higher education from home.

As she logged in to her Tuesday morning creative writing seminar, she looked around at the Halls of Epidemia, which looked almost exactly like her bedroom.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

character is destiny

The belief that a person's arc is determined by the nature of their character.

She had always taken comfort in the idea that character is destiny, that good people would prevail, that the bad would receive their just punishment. Now, with the possibility of a second term, and the further catastrophe it would unleash, she was not so sure.

by Monkey's Dad September 19, 2020

coronaviral

Something which spreads at unprecedented speed.

The swift lockdown of the planet was coronaviral.

by Monkey's Dad March 17, 2020

negated negation

A prefix which should, but does not, negate the word to which it is attached. While 'mobility' and 'immobility' are opposites, as are 'effective' and 'ineffective', the words 'passivity' and 'impassivity' mean the same thing, as do the words 'flammable' and 'inflammable'.

Tired of being described as passive, he decided to be more impassive. He'd be a man of action, or maybe even inaction. What difference could a negated negation make?

by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2023