An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid then demonstrably with vaccophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, vacchophobes listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had themselves been quietly vaccinated, tell them that it was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
Mandating that children and teachers be sent into the classroom, at the same moment people were legally forbidden to sit inside a restaurant, was a blatant and indefensible failure of virologic.
by Monkey's Dad July 19, 2020
O. Z. stands for being overzealous, a brain disorder. Those afflicted do not know when to stop - planning a party down to the most minute detail, decorating a room or giving an endless stream of gifts on Christmas when a few would more than suffice. Frequently mis-diagnosed in children as industriousness or generosity, by adulthood it's incurable.
"I'll just tidy up", she said, heading for the kitchen, "a few minutes." Hours later she emerged, having rewashed the clean dishes, glasses and cutlery, scrubbed the floor, wiped, re-wiped and sterilized the counters, thrown out loads of perfectly good food to neaten the fridge and arranged their Urban Dictionary mugs in alphabetical order, her O. Z. out of control.
by Monkey's Dad December 29, 2023
She had finally had enough of his ingraptitude, deciding that the next time he woke her at 2:30, from a sound sleep, he would be set free to find out just how many women wanted to 'take care of' him at that hour.
by Monkey's Dad March 02, 2020
He tried to explain to his four-year-old, but the images felt retroscopic - the world healthy and sane, no one afraid to leave their homes, Obama in the White House.
by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020
He figured their server - "My name is Jason and I'll be taking care of you this evening" - having spilled water all over the table, and their laps, having left chunks of cork in their wine, having believed that 'medium-well' and 'medium rare' were indistinguishable and trying to persuade them of same, and having asked, "You two really a couple? ... Hot chick like this actually went out with you???" before turning to her and asking what she was doing next weekend, and lastly, sneezing on their desserts... deserved an appropriate tip, he calculated Jason's gratchooity, rounding it down to the closest dime.
by Monkey's Dad December 01, 2022
He'd need to set his story in the past. Or in the distant future. How could he tell a 2020 love story of a couple wearing masks? Home alone, staring at screens? Storytelling required contact. For the next while, this would be the writer's dilemma.
by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2020