Monkey's Dad's definitions
The suggestion that you need to wash your hands, and wash them again, specifically with a product that no longer exists, until you become insane with anxiety.
She had scrubbed and scoured her fingers and palms until they were raw, her bottles had all been emptied, and she was on the edge of crazy, needing to find more hand insanitizer.
by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020
Get the hand insanitizer mug.A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.
The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.
by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020
Get the hypoinsomnichondriac mug.A gender-revealing punctuation mark! Used frequently, often in multiples and almost exclusively by females!!! (Men, in contrast, end a sentence with a single piece of punctuation, usually a period or question mark.)
The female attraction to this piece of punctuation is probably entirely unconscious. The mark - ! - is a clear pictogram of a woman's 'private parts', a vertical orifice above a circular one.
Using it to end almost any string of words is a statement of the sender's sexuality, conveying a subliminal ; "Look what I possess!!!"!!!!!
The female attraction to this piece of punctuation is probably entirely unconscious. The mark - ! - is a clear pictogram of a woman's 'private parts', a vertical orifice above a circular one.
Using it to end almost any string of words is a statement of the sender's sexuality, conveying a subliminal ; "Look what I possess!!!"!!!!!
The detective suspected that the note - "Back soon! I'm shopping for fancy soap and scented candles!" - with its mystifying sexclamation point !!!, could possibly have been written by a woman.
by Monkey's Dad September 2, 2019
Get the Sexclamation point !!! mug.The March 19, 2020 lockdown, falling on the Vernal Equinox - the time when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator, making night and day of equal length.
The Vernal Equilox, everyone in lockdown, endless night following endless day, no one outdoors to observe or to celebrate, Netflix flowing seamlessly into Prime Video.
by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020
Get the Vernal Equilox mug.... as asked by Republican Senator Ted Cruz of prospective Supreme Court justice Amy Coney Barrett, to ascertain her judicial ideology and fitness to sit on the bench.
The four questions Cruz asked:
1) How long have you played the piano?
2) Do the kids do piano lessons as well?
3) You and your husband have seven kids. How did you manage with the distance learning? What was that like in the Barrett household?
4) What advice would you give little girls?
1) How long have you played the piano?
2) Do the kids do piano lessons as well?
3) You and your husband have seven kids. How did you manage with the distance learning? What was that like in the Barrett household?
4) What advice would you give little girls?
by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020
Get the The Four Questions mug.An experience of life without time. The absence of a temporal dimension. An intensification of simultemporal experience, in which past, present and future are equidistant and simultaneous.
Having grown accustomed to simultemporal experience - living time all at once, rather than sequentially - he was increasingly forced to acknowledge states which were vacuutemporal, wherein the sense of time in any form dissolved.
by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021
Get the vacuutemporal mug.Was she really aiming to get a laugh by mocking a gender-neutral, disabled person of indeterminate ethnicity, an age-challenged, vaccine-addled, undocumented person whose worldly belongings were spilling out of a shopping cart as they slowly tried to cross the street in front of her car while she leaned on the horn? It was by every standard worse than un-funny. It was deranged, a psick joke, but one she hoped would get her the gig she yearned for - hosting the 2025 White House Correspondents dinner.
by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2021
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