Monkey's Dad's definitions

verisimehlitude

The quality in a work of art so enslaved to the reality of its source that it elicits no response.

The sculptor had worked very hard to do this. His sculpture was exactly life-sized, colored and textured to precisely replicate the thing it was imitating, and, standing in the gallery, it looked like a living, breathing security guard. Except that it was not breathing, nor was it living, nor did anyone recognize it as a work of art. Or feel anything about it. Or pay it any mind. An example of craft for craft's sake, it had achieved a state of verisimehlitude.

by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021

The Simpsonian Institution

A bright yellow, spiky-roofed museum on the Mall in Washington, celebrating the Lisa Simpson Presidency. As pre-cognitively laid out in the March 19, 2000 episode, 'Bart to the Future', Lisa has been elected and has moved into the Oval Office to clean up the mess left by President Trump.

On her lunch break, Jane would wander over to the Simpsonian Institution, dreaming of a country under President Lisa, with clean air and water, kindness to all people and animals, the return of ethics and honesty to government, and Mr. Burns in prison.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

deranged loser

An expression of the utmost dignity and grace, not to be mistaken for projection when used to characterize a perceived enemy.

“I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband,” the president tweeted, “but it must have been really bad.”

by Monkey's Dad July 12, 2020

minimal

Any mammal which has been shrunken by careful breeding, for maximum cuteness and portability.

"Why is that Guinea Pig on a leash?" she wondered, before coming close enough to see that it was a full-grown, two-pound minimal, the smallest dog she had ever seen. She had to have one.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

WE CAN BREATHE

The collective exhalation of relief following the guilty verdicts in the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd. Floyd's last words, I can't breathe, had become the mantra of injustice in a country where police killings of unarmed Black men are routine and have gone largely unpunished.

As the three verdicts were read - guilty - guilty - guilty - millions of Americans, across the spectrum of race, ethnicity and economic status, suddenly felt WE CAN BREATHE.

by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2021

Urban Legend

In the near future, a fantastical story told by parents to children of what the word 'city' meant.

They sat at six-foot intervals to hear their favorite Urban Legend. They knew it was not real, yet it entertained them to imagine people walking the streets, crowding together to eat and drink and listen to music, where 'school' was a building kids went to, together.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

longing distance

The space, literal and emotional, between yourself and another person, hoping for their safety and well-being, wishing you could be together when you are inescapably separated during the pandemic.

Unable to help in any way, hoping each day that she would remain well, wishing he could simply be where she was, the longing distance was at times unbearable.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020