Quaranteenager

A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.
Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020
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cyberotic

An erotic connection through Internet only.
He hadn't been in the presence of an actual woman for such a long while, yet he had a full cyberotic life, so much free time, nowhere to go, endless online porn.
by Monkey's Dad April 04, 2020
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Bland Finale

The audience had been anticipating Clapton would close the concert with a soaring rendition of his number one megahit, not the bland finale of Layla performed on solo ukulele and a kazoo.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020
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new social norm

Once, the collective representation of acceptable group conduct, now the nullification of group conduct.
In spring of 2020, people the world over were forbidden to gather, instructed to stay away from each other at specified minimum distances. The new social norm during the age of coronavirus was that there was no social norm.
by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020
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a free country

Concept championed by low IQ individuals, who want to do what they want to do.
She would refuse to wear a mask, spit in the face of the cashier, open the ice cream carton and lick the contents before putting it back, urinate in all the lemonade bottles, carry her gun where'n'when-the-hell she chose, drive 200 miles an hour through the red lights while schoolkids were crossing, and use the salt shaker on your table for target practice, because this is a free country.
by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020
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error message

From the minor to the global, a warning that something is not right.
She began to interpret the pandemic as a massive error message, a sign to humanity that it had lost its way, and would now be forced to re-order and reconsider.
by Monkey's Dad April 16, 2020
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Facebook patient

Someone who uses Facebook as a thinly-disguised substitute for actual psychotherapy.
Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.
by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020
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