Monkey's Dad's definitions

Last Woman on Earth

Effectively, the woman any man happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.

"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last woman on earth."

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

medical professional

A nurse, doctor, orderly, chaplain or other member of hospital staff, worthy of our most profound respect and gratitude.

Any medical professional is placing themself at the highest levels of risk for contracting the virus, yet they come to work and give more than is required, inadequately protected and knowing that many of their colleagues are already infected and are suffering.

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

Silent Spring

The title of a non-fiction account, published in 1962, of the environmental damage caused by pesticides, written by Rachel Carson, with great foresight.

"Silent Spring" carried eerie echoes, he thought, seeing the trees outside his window beginning to flower, the earth returning to life in a largely silenced human world. Spring of 2020 would be a season of great and unsettling quietude.

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

teaching your dog to drive

A polite suggestion that someone has admirable faith while being out of touch with reality.

"Brilliant idea, truly, but you're teaching your dog to drive."

by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020

Coronal Retentive

Excessively orderly and fussy, paying too much attention to detail, as the result of being locked in during the coronaviral era.

She had always been relaxed and carefree. But with nowhere to go and no one to see, she reorganized every item in the bathroom cabinet by size, color and alphabetical order, and worried she was becoming coronal retentive.

by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020

Quarantennials

The generation coming into their 20s in the coronaviral age. Leaving college with a stay-at-home diploma, the prospects for career and family will be different from those faced by any generation in memory.

"As one of the Quarantennials, my education promises almost nothing. There will be no work for me, or anyone, in my chosen field, no promise of income, no practical dreams of home and family. It's true for almost everyone I know."

by Monkey's Dad April 1, 2020

deprestidigitation

Depression, when the magic goes out of digital life.

She had been enthralled with Facetime, Zoom, texts and emails, yet now was overwhelmed with deprestidigitation, yearning for a touch, a smile, eye-contact, the unfiltered sound of a loving voice.

by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020