Monkey's Dad's definitions

craptitude

A rarified skillset needed to deal with the mundane, the meaningless, the growing piles of junk and the demands of ordering still more stuff that occupy the day and often pass for a full life.

Sitting on the bed, staring at yet another emerging bedside volcano, she was confident she could summon the craptitude to conquer, organize and move on to higher callings... "just give me five minutes".

by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2023

rounding the coroner

As you are wheeled through the morgue, passing the doctor who is filling out "Covid-19" as your cause of death.

Having believed that the coronavirus was 'under control", that it would "disappear like magic", that wearing masks was for liberal wimps and that we were "rounding the corner", you were in fact only rounding the coroner. Under 'pre-existing condition' he filled in "believing a president who cared about no one but himself and nothing but his self-aggrandizement".

by Monkey's Dad November 15, 2020

proconciliation

Opposite of reconciliation.

From the outset, the creation of compatibility.

Hoping they would connect, he had described each to the other in glowing terms, an act of proconciliation.

by Monkey's Dad April 26, 2020

Reflexicographer

1) Any person whose contributions to Urban Dictionary arise in response to events of the moment.
2) Any person driven to create original words on a daily basis, as a side-effect of being alive in the world.

With 300 entries provided to Urban Dictionary in a period of a few months, the author known as Monkey's Dad might be seen as a modern reflexicographer. Several of his original words have entered the language within days of their creation.

by Monkey's Dad May 18, 2020

simulalia

The act of two people uttering the identical word or phrase, in the exact tone and cadence, to convey the same thought, at precisely the same moment.

They were so close, their perceptions and observations were linked in such harmonious synchronicity, that many times a day they spoke in perfect unison, often to the amused astonishment of those listening. "We need a word for it" she suggested. And an instant later, they both said "simulalia".

by Monkey's Dad June 5, 2023

July 4, 2020 Interdependence Day

A holiday celebrating the truth that we are all in it together, that we all breathe the same air.

She would be at home on July 4, 2020 Interdependence Day, celebrating her connection to the whole world, hoping to one day be part of it, a different kind of freedom.

by Monkey's Dad June 28, 2020

Chimp on your shoulder

Having a Monkey on your back and a Chip on your shoulder, simultaneously.

Everyone knew to avoid the conspiracy-spewing moron at the end of the bar, except the one guy looking for a fight. He came up behind him and said "Is that a chimp on your shoulder, or did you offer Tucker Carlson a piggyback?"

by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021