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Holey Spirit

Whisky whose ratio of water to alcohol is a whole number made up of digits with holes like 6, 8, or 9.
Some math profs have this weird drinking habit of not partaking in any types of whisky other than holey spirit.
by MathPlus December 24, 2018
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Dear Comma

When a misplaced or missing comma, or inserting an extra comma, in a contract can cost a company lots of money, as the meaning of a sentence inadvertently favors the employees instead of the employer.
By accidentally inserting a comma between “fruit” and “plants” in the draft containing “fruit plants, tropical and semi-tropical, are exempt from import tariffs,” all imported fruit suddenly become duty-free; as a result, the government loses tens of millions of dollars for that “dear comma.”
by MathPlus December 24, 2018
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Trumpgifting

Wrapping an empty box to be given as a Christmas gift, because it is not illegal to offer such a fake present to someone else other than your family members, relatives, or close friends.
To get even with his key staff who are deserting him and are serving their last few weeks or months at the White House, Donald wants to trumpgifting them, as an outward sign of his displeasure and frustration towards them.
by MathPlus December 24, 2018
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A question no parents would ask their child at Christmas, unless they are Donald Trump or a radical Islamist who views Christianity as a form of idolatry.
Barron was mad at his nominal Christian father when he asked him, “Do you believe in Santa Claus?”
by MathPlus December 25, 2018
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Life Is a Bitch

When life has been pretty mean and unfair to you, especially when all your friends and relatives are wealthier, smarter, and prettier than you.
Why do bad things happen to good people? And material blessings seem to be chasing after evil people? Life is a bitch, isn’t it?
by MathPlus December 29, 2018
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Tower User

A power user of toilet paper in a family, who selfishly expects the other members to replace the last roll each time, when they should be the one to do this dirty job at home.
Tally is the tower user who notoriously uses the last toilet roll until there are barely any sheets left for her family members to wipe their backsides.
by MathPlus December 29, 2018
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Exclamation Point

A question mark that has been straightened out by God, if you put your faith in Him for things you don’t understand—when you are in the valley where life seems unfair, yet you wait upon His grace and goodness to turn things around.
Whenever you find yourself in those dark places (breakup, betrayal, death, debt, divorce, hurt, job loss, sickness, …), know that God can turn your question marks into exclamation points.
by MathPlus December 30, 2018
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