27 definitions by Marcus Solomon

An emo band lacking enough talent to play decent music and/or an emo band with a vocalist that lacks the talent to whine melodically. Many screamo bands simply make a horrible racket while the kid with the microphone screams like a spoiled child having a tantrum in the supermarket; not fast enough to be considered grindcore. Other screamo bands play homongenized, emo-pop music, alternating mellodic whiny, self-depreciating and contrived lyrics with a screaming back-up vocalist who usually repeats the first vocalist's drama-rants.
I went to the screamo concert the other day and soon realized it was just a screaming kid banging on pots and pans in the store. It actually sounded better than the screamo concert going on at Tantrumcore Records.
by Marcus Solomon November 17, 2007
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1. A synonmyous variation of "emo sucks," which is an indisputable fact because emo is a false musical/fashion genre with absolutely nothing new to offer other than its own bland hodge-poge rip off of other, genuine musical subcultures, false negativity, and pride in looking like all other emo clones.

2. When one sad emo boy sucks the sad, limp penis of another emo clone.

3. A pathetic "girl punch" and/or "sissy slap" thrown at anyone in the vacinity of an emo clone whom is in the midst of a contrived tantrum.
1. I had a mystical vision, wherein the ultimate truth was revealed to me and inscribed in stone it said: "emo blows!"

2. I caught sad Sammy and homo Hank giving each other emo blows under the bleachers at the Sadie Hawkins dance.

3. That emo kid over there just unleased a flurry of emo blows and even though he connected, nobody felt a thing but amused pity.
by Marcus Solomon October 27, 2007
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Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.
I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.
by Marcus Solomon July 31, 2008
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1. An emo clone in denial. The term was created by emo clones who were embarassed and tired of being called "emo." There is absolutely no difference between emo clones and scene kids except those refering to themselves as "scene kids" tend to be older; emo trendies who are old enough to drive.

2.
I am not emo! Even though I look and act like every other emo clone in the world, I am a scene kid! See my driver's license?
by Marcus Solomon November 4, 2007
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The final solution to the emo problem.

Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).

The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon December 16, 2007
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"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.
Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"
by Marcus Solomon September 6, 2007
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