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Marcus Solomon's definitions

emo blows

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1. A synonmyous variation of "emo sucks," which is an indisputable fact because emo is a false musical/fashion genre with absolutely nothing new to offer other than its own bland hodge-poge rip off of other, genuine musical subcultures, false negativity, and pride in looking like all other emo clones.

2. When one sad emo boy sucks the sad, limp penis of another emo clone.

3. A pathetic "girl punch" and/or "sissy slap" thrown at anyone in the vacinity of an emo clone whom is in the midst of a contrived tantrum.
1. I had a mystical vision, wherein the ultimate truth was revealed to me and inscribed in stone it said: "emo blows!"

2. I caught sad Sammy and homo Hank giving each other emo blows under the bleachers at the Sadie Hawkins dance.

3. That emo kid over there just unleased a flurry of emo blows and even though he connected, nobody felt a thing but amused pity.
by Marcus Solomon November 13, 2007
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emotenuse

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Derived from the mathematical term "hypotenuce," it is the longest side of the right-angle triangle formed by the standard emo haircut; the sloped line covering one or both eyes created by the backward, angular mullet favored by emo clones.
The length of an emo crybaby's emotenuce can be calculated with the formula A squared plus B squared equals C squared; C being the variable representing the length of the emotenuse.
by Marcus Solomon November 8, 2007
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"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.
Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"
by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007
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emo maiden

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A term unique to only one person; the person who originally wrote the "emo maiden" definition. Apparently inspired by Iron Maiden's vocalist Bruce Dickinson's tendency to hold high notes in a manner that can be compared to prolonged whining.
I believe Iron Maiden started the emo trend and I call the band "Emo Maiden" because I have very little knowledge of music history.
by Marcus Solomon September 12, 2007
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emo know it all

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Anyone with enough sense to completely avoid the emo trend. Those who recognize the fact that emo is a false-genre cobbled together from bits of other music subcultures and that its adherenents are fixated on clonish fashion statements and overmoted, contrived negative emotions.
Q: Why aren't you emo?
A: As an emo know it all, I understand that emo is dumb, and therefore choose to ignore the trend.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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Emo hair is a collection of variations of the angular, backward mullet, (esotericaly known as the "hypotenuse"). Emo hair style is also known as the "Swoosh," and should deliberately be associated with the slang adjective "Swish." Almost always black (dyed or natural), emo hair has the unique ablility to make its adherents brain-damaged to the point where they believe looking like others constitutes being unique.
A squared plus B squared equals the C squared hypotenuse of all those emo-clones' emo hair.
by Marcus Solomon September 11, 2007
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