Johns

Past tense: Johned

Plural: Johns
Present tense: Johning

Usually used in video game terms; mostly Super Smash Bros., an excuse. When you are losing, or before you’re losing; pre-johning. E.g., if you think the lighting is too low, or if you spilt coffee on your shirt in the morning; excuses.

“No, I only lost because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. And I also stepped on a Lego!”
“Those are Johns, definitely. You’re just having a skill issue right now”