Logical Empiricist Stoic's definitions
The feature of almost songlike whining & kvetching from Covid Babies that accompanies the regular Covid Season.
Covid Carols typically include an unlimited list of non-specific & often conflicting symptoms that can be attributed to any disease or ailment that has ever existed among any of Earth's creatures.
Covid Carols typically include an unlimited list of non-specific & often conflicting symptoms that can be attributed to any disease or ailment that has ever existed among any of Earth's creatures.
"My head hurts. I think I have a fever. I can't breathe. My body aches. Feel like I'm gonna throw up. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"I'm coughing. I'm sneezing. I lost my appetite. I'm starving. I can't taste anything. I can't smell anything. Does anybody have a Covid test? I need to stay in from work. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Can somebody drive me to the emergency room? I need an updated jab. Did you get the latest vax? Why aren't you wearing a mask? That's not 6 feet. You're too close! Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Hear the Covid Babies with their Covid Carols?"
"Yep! Time to pull out the Covid Box. Covid Season is upon us!"
"Praise Fauchovah!"
"I'm coughing. I'm sneezing. I lost my appetite. I'm starving. I can't taste anything. I can't smell anything. Does anybody have a Covid test? I need to stay in from work. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Can somebody drive me to the emergency room? I need an updated jab. Did you get the latest vax? Why aren't you wearing a mask? That's not 6 feet. You're too close! Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Hear the Covid Babies with their Covid Carols?"
"Yep! Time to pull out the Covid Box. Covid Season is upon us!"
"Praise Fauchovah!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic October 31, 2023
Get the Covid Carolsmug. The perception of increased attractiveness due to minimum social distancing and mask-covered faces thus creating amorous opportunities that would not exist under "The Old Normal" conditions. This may be also known as Covid Hot.
"Yikes! How'd you end up having COVID babies with them?"
"He/She was Covid Doable during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
"He/She was Covid Doable during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 1, 2023
Get the Covid Doablemug. by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 22, 2023
Get the DOTmug. CPN (aka Cost Per Nut) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest CPN. Yo!"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest CPN. Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 3, 2023
Get the CPNmug. 1. Out of sheer boredom and lack of the ability to socialize in groups, many survivors of regular Covid Season end up procreating with otherwise non-suitable partners. Amorous opportunities are further enhanced by being Covid Doable aka Covid Hot, which is the perception of increased attractiveness due to at least a modicum of desperation, minimum social distancing, and mask-covered faces. These unions, although usually transient and ephemeral, often result in producing offspring known as Covid Babies.
2. Individuals who exhibit the infantile vulnerability associated with Covid Season and its unlimited, non-specific, and often conflicting symptoms. Covid Babies are easily identified by their characteristic puerile whining of Covid Carols.
2. Individuals who exhibit the infantile vulnerability associated with Covid Season and its unlimited, non-specific, and often conflicting symptoms. Covid Babies are easily identified by their characteristic puerile whining of Covid Carols.
"Haven't seen you in years! Had no idea that you were even pregnant, much less had a kid."
"Yeah! Me and the ex hooked up during the Covid Season lockdowns a few years ago and ended up having a Covid Baby"
OR:
"Melvyn is in there whining Covid Carols!"
"Somebody stop by the drugstore for the Covid Baby and pick up some tampons!"
"Yeah! Me and the ex hooked up during the Covid Season lockdowns a few years ago and ended up having a Covid Baby"
OR:
"Melvyn is in there whining Covid Carols!"
"Somebody stop by the drugstore for the Covid Baby and pick up some tampons!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 6, 2023
Get the Covid Babymug. The omniscient & omnipotent deity, who becomes man who becomes super god, and ultimately inspires, leads, & controls the minds & combined will of his Covidian religious cult followers.
Like any god, he retains absolutely no accountability because good outcomes are due to his gracious benevolence while undesired consequences result from his purging crucible or fully-merited sanctions.
Like any god, he retains absolutely no accountability because good outcomes are due to his gracious benevolence while undesired consequences result from his purging crucible or fully-merited sanctions.
“I’m not feeling well with a symptom that could be from any ailment listed in any of all the world’s medical journals & blogs.”
“Praise Fauchovah!”
“Praise Fauchovah!”
by Logical Empiricist Stoic October 22, 2023
Get the Fauchovahmug. Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
Get the Cost per Nut (CPN)mug.