3 definitions by Lester_Crest

Nathan's butter

An establishment recognised by some of the worlds top culinary experts, this secret gem hiding in the densely populated areas of Southall specializes in serving high top quality century egg butter. Butter was invented here, the food contains so much energy it can be used as a nuclear fuel rod. The greasy mass is happily consumed by locals and many Fortune 100 CEO's book and eat here. The owner is a jolly person named Nathan, his secret recipe to making the flavourless and creamy butter is with his elbow grease. Nathan was once a desperate person seeking to make a living, he was inspired to make Nathan's butter when he watched Nikocado Avocado. His business has been flourishing since and he has seen a huge return on his investment. He does not need to work a day in his life. In addition to the high quality food, the building has a centralised air conditioning made by Sony.

"Sorry I cant come to Walters funeral!"
"Why the hell not?"
"I have booked a table at Nathan's butter"
"I dearly apologise, please bring some butter back"

by Lester_Crest February 2, 2022

Nappy shack

A foreclosed business in Hanwell, London. The business once was a blooming place where many customers would arrive to sleep over. The prices are affordable and cheaper than other competitors. The booking is very easy as you could contact the owner or go onto the website. The business went into a downturn after a few months of operating, the customers steadily declined after a scandal where nappies were found in the tenant rooms. The attempt at saving their reputation with their partnership with Nathan's butter was not sufficient enough and caused the place to shutdown due to bankruptcy. The owner is elusive and not many people know of him, he is rumoured to be creating counterfeit nappies by hand and selling them to the local area, we know this from our proud customer and insider Milosz. It is rumored that ghosts trapped inside the nappies still wander around the halls of this place, the air is contaminated with Cheeto dust and asbestos which wards off any scavengers.

"Your council house smells like shit Maciej"
"You cant fucking talk, your house smells like Nappy shack!"

by Lester_Crest February 2, 2022

J104

A place located on the Cardinal Wiseman premises in London. The architects goal was to recreate the house in the hit game "Granny". There is a replica model walking around which has been programmed to yell at sixth formers often and is regarded as bipolar. She goes on extreme mood swings, one day she could be delivering food to Ethiopia and the next smash up asbestos tiles in a children's ward. The printer is equally as cursed and likes to choke audibly when printing for more than 10 seconds, It is so weak and brittle that it broke when a fearful sixth former tried to print an A3 piece of paper. The granny's AI broke and she went on a mad fury trying to find the culprit, she tried to scream at the technicians but they turned to stone because she looks like medusa. This place causes early male pattern baldness from the stress and anyone fortunate enough to have frees have a significantly lower risk of having cardiac arrest.
The only safezone is in the back corner where the cubicles are higher than the granny so she cannot really see or hear anything there but it can only accommodate like 12 people so many are left in the harsh conditions of the tables or the other computers.

"Jake why did you shit yourself in class today?!"
"Ah Miss wanted me to go to J104 to get a student"
"Oh damn fair enough I would have made the same excuse"

by Lester_Crest February 1, 2022