Larry and Rex and Benny's definitions

...when you’re a bitch

This is when you aren’t worthy of fighting. You’re not even worthy of getting your ass kicked. This is when you are a mouthy little maggot who doesn’t know when to shut up and you say the wrong thing to the wrong guy. Then that guy decides to embarrass you and beat your ass with a stapler. He won’t even hit you with it but he’ll put 4 or 5 staples in your ass in front of the viewing public just to embarrass you for the bitch that you are while you cry like a baby. Everyone watching is laughing because this beatdown was a long time coming. You should be ashamed.

Hey Nate! Remember that time when...

Fuck you Ricky! I told you, stop talking or I’ll beat your ass! But you’re not even good enough for that! Because...when you’re a bitch I’m gonna just staple gun your ass. Bitch.

Only the sentence doesn’t really happen. Nate just tags Ricky with a stapler until he cries.

by Larry and Rex and Benny August 5, 2018

the double blackout

The double blackout is when you go day drinking, and blackout for the first time before noon. You won’t know what happened but when you wake up there could be a stranger in your bed and you could be naked. That’s when you start to piece your day together and wonder what happened with the stranger. However, it’s only 4pm and your friends want to meet up. That’s when you rally. The probably ends with shots of tequila and throwing up in an alley outside some kind of shit smelling Indian restaurant. But you don’t know bc you just did the double blackout. The next morning is a rough one.

Hey Carey! I don’t remember shit. I feel like a dirty whore bc I woke up after my first blackout and couldn’t remember if I fucked this guy named Steve. He seemed cool though so we rallied. We were up until 6 am when I blacked out again, but the last thing I remember is sucking his dick in the last bar we were in. It was another of the double blackout for me...

by Larry and Rex and Benny July 15, 2018

the comma man

This is your token friend. He is never wrong. He will never apologize, he will pick arguments with your and he’s a musclehead. The reason that he is the comma man is because he refers to himself as last name comma first name. F example, “nice to meet you I’m smith comma tim.” Total douchebag move...but he’s your friend so you deal with it.

Hey lunkhead. You are not as cool as you think. In fact, I’m your only friend. Stop doing the last name first. You just sound like an idiot. “The comma man?” Fuck

by Larry and Rex and Benny August 6, 2018

fat bitch period

This is when a dumb menstruating cunt won’t stop bitching about her period to her girlfriend...

HeyJolene! My pussy is a fucking waterfall this month and I haven’t been fucked since June! Even then, billy only did me in the ass in the electrical closet at the Olive Garden is when I was on break!

Shut up you fat busted cunt! If you think I need to hear about you fucking and sucking off guys, go back to fucking them. I don’t want to listen to stories about your fat bitch period. Hit the treadmill. Fuck

by Larry and Rex and Benny August 6, 2018

The Fuck Bomb

This is when you knowingly walk in one two people fucking, then jump into the bed with them naked too and photo bomb the event!

Yo Diego! Remember that time I gave you the Fuck Bomb when you were nailing Emily from behind. Sorry I saw her naked but she was pretty hot. I’m glad I still have the pictures and your dick only touched me through the sheets when we took those photos!

by Larry and Rex and Benny August 4, 2018

Motherfucked The Boss

This is when you hate your life because you hate your job. Typically this is a result of hating your boss and you often find that you rant and rave about how he should be dead or in jail. So what do you do? You secretly invite his mother to the office on Mother’s Day and sneak into his office and have the dirtiest sex imaginable. Fingers in the ass...everything. But then the job isn’t done. Once you send her on her way you shit in his pencil drawer at his desk. Big steamer.

Time to wrap up. Quietly tiptoe out of there and punch that time clock. You’ve accomplished all you’re getting done today.

“Hi, Deanna?” It’s Jim from the front desk. Listen your son can’t talk right now, he’s in a meeting. But Happy Mothers Day! Why don’t you come to the office.”

...then you proceed to step on her face while you bend her over the desk...

“That was amazing, why don’t you go clean up. I’ll be right there.”

Steer clear of the office for a little while boys. I just did us all a solid and Motherfucked The Boss . You mind punching me out? I need a cigarette.

by Larry and Rex and Benny February 4, 2020

The 36 Inch Push Broom

When you lift a 3 ft midget by the ankles upside down, face fucking her, while walking around Quicken Loans Arena.

Hey Barry, see that midget across the parking lot? I’m gonna chug these beers and then give her The 36 inch push broom before the game starts.

by Larry and Rex and Benny June 24, 2018