2 definitions by Lance Dongstrong

Pelvic CPR

The technique of manual resuscitation of the vagina or penis. This can be achieved via insertion, or rubbing of aforementioned areas with hands, palms, and/ or fingers. Successful resuscitation is accomplished when the penis is erect or the vagina is wet.

It's been so long since I've had sex, I needed some pelvic CPR before I could get it in.

by Lance Dongstrong June 8, 2021

Dickzophrenia

The small voice in the head of males that coerces men into bad life choices with their dicks. This voice is constant, unyielding, and very rarely quiet. Can be exacerbated by lack of sexual activity, boredom and/or presence of attractive sex prospects. Thought to be the leading cause of baby daddy and baby daddy trauma.

Man 1: How did you end up with 8 kids!?

Man 2: I suffer from a severe case of Dickzophrenia.

by Lance Dongstrong August 29, 2016