Ass Swipe

Said of an individual so below one's contempt that they are judged by the beholder as underserving of a slur that might evoke the dignity of three-dimensions -- e.g., "you piece of shit". Instead, it has been appraised that such an individual is best described in two dimensions, by way of evoking the spread of fecal material on some purpose designed or improvised substrate, directly from one's rectal orifice, with an aim of transferring a maximum of said recently extruded fecal material to said substrate at completion of the act of defecation. The resulting fecal material-laden substrate provides an indicator of success in the mundane act wiping one's bum, and is thus appropriately given the name "ass swipe". This concept evolved linguistically to be used figuratively for derogatory and defaming effect on the intended target of this label.

1. Observing his behavior over time, I feel at a loss to fathom just how contemptible Joe is. What a piece of shit! No, that's way too generous. Joe's a fucking ass swipe.

2. How do you feel now, ass swipe, laying in your own blood after I kicked your face in?

3. That ass swipe didn't even have the balls to come up and tell me to my face!

by Lambda70 April 25, 2021

Lady Gorilla Slap

Also called the Bloody Gorilla. Same as the Gorilla Slap, except its the female that stands holding a sprinkle of her freshly shaven pubes. Requires that time of the month conditions. Subsequent and corresponding boner face-bash is replaced by enforced anaerobic stawberry jam muff diving.

Derek sure loves Melissa. After he cheated on her again, he willfully submitted to a Lady Gorilla Slap to let her blow of steam and thus win back her favor.

Marge is quite the butch. When the crimson tide comes rolling up, she enjoys giving her conquests ye olde Lady Gorilla Slap.

by Lambda70 February 27, 2011