Wisdom of the weed

When you catch a flash of "The Big Picture" during the rambling thoughts after smoking weed. The saddest part is, only you actually understand it, and you can't really explain it well enough to get other people to see it too - and when you come down, you can barely remember it yourself.

A passing wisdom that is lost on the sane and sober. Still, it shows you what your mind could be capable of....
John: Mike was high as a kite and last night and was trying to tell me something about how angry people will eventually ruin the pharmaceutical industry....?

David: Yeah well he does that sometimes, it's just the Wisdom of the weed.

Mike (last night - thinking): La de dum, today is a happy day, it's nice and cool and my sweater feels nice and I never noticed it was such a nice shade of red - look at that, it's like that balloon in that German girl song the one with the armpit hair, what was her name, god was that 20odd years ago? surely I can't be that old...and....OMG! if angry people somehow get a hold of the drug that makes your memory vanish....etc etc etc....I'd better tell John so he can remember tomorrow when I don't....
by LabMom September 22, 2009
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Blackberry porn

What your husband now spends thousands of hours looking at on the internet instead of what he use to look at.

The overwhelming list of applications to choose from, that have taken over the obsessions of the Blackberryphiles.
I walked in to the office this morning and caught my husband Googling images of "Blackberry". I wish I'd never bought him it. Forget "Golf widow" I am a Blackberry widow. He spends all his time now looking at Blackberry porn.
by LabMom November 28, 2009
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Ass spider

A little piece of dried poop, which, when pulled loose, takes along with it a collection of butt hairs so it resembles a spider body and hair legs.

It's a guy thing. Women do not have ass spiders.
When he pulled the crusty bit loose it ripped out a bunch of butt hairs leaving him holding a worthy ass spider in the paper.
by LabMom July 30, 2009
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Labradaughter

A term of endearment for a pet female Labrador dog.

Generally in use by owners of female Labradors, who wish to display the level of affection felt for such a worthy animal.

(See also: Labradorable)
Asker: Do you have any kids?
Speaker: I have a son and two black Labradaughters.
by LabMom June 25, 2009
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acocunt

A web-whoops, where the intended word was "account" but the fingers were faster than the brain, and the brain forgot to spell-check.

Very bad if you do it in a business letter and do not correct it, leaves the customer wondering: "What's an Aco cunt?"

(Also sounds like it may be a really unpleasant coconut.)
Dear Mr Jones,

We have recently reviewed your acocunt.....Please bring your acocunt up to date immediately!
by LabMom November 03, 2009
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Tom and Jerry effect

A strange phenomenon encountered when attempting to cross an empty road, where right as you go to step out hundreds of cars suddenly show up and make you stand there waiting,

Named after the scenes in Tom & Jerry cartoons when they put a toe on the street and millions of cars rush by, they remove the toe and the street is quiet again.
Let's cross over here, I can't be bothered to walk to the crossing and there's nothing coming....(enter billions of cars from nowhere)....uh oh, damn Tom And Jerry Effect.
by LabMom March 06, 2010
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