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LabMom's definitions

Flexi-shit

Time taken by a person on flexible working hours, at the end of the day, to use the bathroom before going home, thus allowing them to add their toilet time to their Time Sheet as if they were actually working for that extra ten minutes.

Easy way to get additional holiday without actually doing additional work.
6 flexi-shits = 1 hours lie-in one morning.
45 flexi-shits = 1 days flexi leave.

Counting my flexi-shit this evening, I can now have a half day holiday on Friday, yay!
by LabMom January 21, 2010
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Pseudo-typo

When spelling checker fails to pick up an incorrect word because the word, though incorrect in your sentence, was actually a real word in itself.

These require serious proof reading to find, as they won't be underlined in red, however, it's worth doing because they can make a HUGE difference to what it is you were trying to say...
The pseudo-typo is a real word that is inappropriately placed:

Innocuous:
"We all lined up on the star line."
(We all lined up on the starT line)

Disastrous:
"If you do that again, I'm going to come down there and kiss your ass!"
(If you do that again, I'm going to come down there and kiCK your ass!)

Example:
"I wrote to my boss and made an horrific pseudo-typo, instead of saying I'd like to kill him, I said I'd like to kiss him and now we have a date on Wednesday :( "
by LabMom March 1, 2010
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Blackberry porn

What your husband now spends thousands of hours looking at on the internet instead of what he use to look at.

The overwhelming list of applications to choose from, that have taken over the obsessions of the Blackberryphiles.
I walked in to the office this morning and caught my husband Googling images of "Blackberry". I wish I'd never bought him it. Forget "Golf widow" I am a Blackberry widow. He spends all his time now looking at Blackberry porn.
by LabMom November 28, 2009
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Spork

What happens when a spoon and fork love each other very much.
The fork and the spoon were in the draw for a few weeks and when I opened it, it was full of sporks.
by LabMom March 18, 2010
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Ass spider

A little piece of dried poop, which, when pulled loose, takes along with it a collection of butt hairs so it resembles a spider body and hair legs.

It's a guy thing. Women do not have ass spiders.
When he pulled the crusty bit loose it ripped out a bunch of butt hairs leaving him holding a worthy ass spider in the paper.
by LabMom July 30, 2009
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Brider

British Spider.

Contraction. Since "Brexit", anything starting "British" must now be forcibly squashed into one uncomfortable word to become media acceptable.
Hense, at this time of year (September/October) we see an influx of giant spiders into our houses and they are British Spiders, ergo, there is now a Brider in the bath.
by LabMom September 22, 2016
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