Lârry Dângüs, esq.'s definitions
Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 4, 2008
Get the cracktivities mug.v. - The act of urination, specifically that of a buck-naked female. Also, an exclamation that one makes when walking in on a woman who is voiding her bladder while in a state of undress. This term is a direct result of Hustler Magazine having grossly over-milked their market interest in photographs which depict this act.
1. Dude, I went to use your bathroom a minute ago and your mom was sitting on the john totally nude! I yelled 'HUSTLER' and got the fuck outta there!
2. my alcoholic neighbor stripped off her swimsuit and drizzled a hustler all over my lawn last night. It's cool though, my garden could probably use the nitrogen. Plus we got some photos!
2. my alcoholic neighbor stripped off her swimsuit and drizzled a hustler all over my lawn last night. It's cool though, my garden could probably use the nitrogen. Plus we got some photos!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 2, 2009
Get the hustler mug.by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 7, 2025
Get the Larry'd mug.a mindset which tends to despoil the moral integrity of women who engage in ass-shaking on a professional basis for an extended period.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
My girlfriend just started stripping and she's making great money, but I'm worried that she might eventually fall prey to the stripper mentality. I've already closed our joint bank account just to be safe.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 14, 2012
Get the stripper mentality mug.An alternate term for resin; specifically, the resin left behind on smoking paraphernalia as a by-product of cannabinoid consumption.
In desperate times, Dangus often found himself smoking poor man's hash off of old pipe screens as ghetto wind chimes rang out in the distance, a sure sign that cracktivities were transpiring on the stinking streets of Memphis.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 14, 2010
Get the poor man's hash mug.A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
Get the spousal eunuch mug.An allegedly humorous declaration one might use in response to being questioned as to the accuracy of their information and/or its source. It is a reference to the phrase don't tase me, bro, as well as the snopes website.
Don't believe everything you read on Snopes, bro...especially if it's about the activities of the CIA, the events of 9/11 or any sexually perverted acts performed by the band 311; they really do rape babies while wearing horse masks. However, if you are trying to discover the truth behind some ridiculous urban legend, such as Rod Stewart drinking gallons of semen or Richard Gere taking a panicky trip to the ER after shoving gerbils up his booty hole, snopes can actually be a semi-decent reference tool. Remember: the less important the information you seek, the less likely snopes will lie to you about it.
Don't believe everything you read on Snopes, bro...especially if it's about the activities of the CIA, the events of 9/11 or any sexually perverted acts performed by the band 311; they really do rape babies while wearing horse masks. However, if you are trying to discover the truth behind some ridiculous urban legend, such as Rod Stewart drinking gallons of semen or Richard Gere taking a panicky trip to the ER after shoving gerbils up his booty hole, snopes can actually be a semi-decent reference tool. Remember: the less important the information you seek, the less likely snopes will lie to you about it.
Person A
Have you heard why people in the ghetto wear their pants hanging halfway down their asscracks? It started in men's prisons, you see, the 'bitches' use this fashion statement to signal that they are available for getting their a-holes harpooned! (contemptuous laughter)
Isn't that FUNNY?
Person B
That's not true,
Person A
don't Snopes me, bro!
Person B
(ignoring the outburst) ....although the sagging pants fashion trend did originate in prison. In US correctional facilities, inmates of both genders are often issued pants which are too big for them. Since belts are not allowed, they spend every standing moment 'hitching' their pants back up by hand or either letting them drop. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
Have you heard why people in the ghetto wear their pants hanging halfway down their asscracks? It started in men's prisons, you see, the 'bitches' use this fashion statement to signal that they are available for getting their a-holes harpooned! (contemptuous laughter)
Isn't that FUNNY?
Person B
That's not true,
Person A
don't Snopes me, bro!
Person B
(ignoring the outburst) ....although the sagging pants fashion trend did originate in prison. In US correctional facilities, inmates of both genders are often issued pants which are too big for them. Since belts are not allowed, they spend every standing moment 'hitching' their pants back up by hand or either letting them drop. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 17, 2013
Get the don't Snopes me, bro! mug.