Honey, I never drive faster than I can see

Telling your girlfriend you'll never cheat on her.

"Oh, sure; your roommate is adorable... but. Honey, I never drive faster than I can see."

by JormanThoad September 01, 2017

explanation is joke murder

If you have to explain it; it's not that funny.

I'm not going to tell you why Sam is like a broken stoplight. Explanation is joke murder.

by JormanThoad April 19, 2017

just another tuesday

Par for the course. When something outrageous happens and a blase attitude is adopted in the face of it.

"I went out to the car to find I have two flat tires. Just another Tuesday."

by JormanThoad February 22, 2017

allcapslord

That one guy who insists that using all-caps is just emphasis as long as Zuckerberg doesn't have an italics function on Facebook.

"ALLCAPSLORD? Legendary outlaw? He's not yelling, that's just EMPHASIS!"

by JormanThoad May 07, 2019

genitalman

A gentleman, but with balls.

"Opens the door for her, pays for dinner, and fixes the cable? What a genitalman."

by JormanThoad March 14, 2019

thanks, lee

That guy who tries to top a joke that's already been made.

Lee doesn't get the comedy pyramid. There's set up, rising action, punchline. Lee keeps going after the joke's been made. Thanks, Lee.

by JormanThoad March 22, 2017

I'm not moving to Burbank

When you don't want to do something others want you to do.

Everyone tells me I'd go big in Hollywood. Yeah? I'm not moving to Burbank.

by JormanThoad June 18, 2018