Definitions by Jontssss
The Cristo Cleanse
The sudden, violent gastrointestinal purge that occurs after eating a Monte Cristo sandwich and surviving the initial phase known as The Cristo Creeper.
Unlike an ordinary case of the shits, the Cristo Cleanse arrives with purpose. It is the body’s dramatic attempt to evict every trace of deep-fried ham, turkey, cheese, powdered sugar, and poor decision-making from the digestive tract.
Unlike an ordinary case of the shits, the Cristo Cleanse arrives with purpose. It is the body’s dramatic attempt to evict every trace of deep-fried ham, turkey, cheese, powdered sugar, and poor decision-making from the digestive tract.
Last night I had the Cristo Creeper so bad John moved to the couch. This morning, the Cristo Cleanse began
The Cristo Cleanse by Jontssss September 16, 2026
The Cristo Creeper
A deceptively quiet fart that begins with a tiny, innocent little poot and then slowly creeps through the room until the full horror reveals itself.
Often associated with eating a Monte Cristo sandwich, the Cristo Creeper is especially dangerous because its sound is completely disproportionate to its smell. Initial witnesses may think nothing of it, only to find themselves gagging, opening windows, or abandoning the room moments later.
Often associated with eating a Monte Cristo sandwich, the Cristo Creeper is especially dangerous because its sound is completely disproportionate to its smell. Initial witnesses may think nothing of it, only to find themselves gagging, opening windows, or abandoning the room moments later.
“I barely heard anything, but then John woke up from a sound sleep and moved to the couch. The Cristo Creeper had struck again.”
The Cristo Creeper by Jontssss September 16, 2026
CPR: Crotch-Powered Resurrection
Acronym for: Crotch-Powered Resurrection
The act of reviving someone (usually fictional, hot, and/or dead) through sheer sexual energy, unfiltered thirst, or erotic determination. Often applied to impossibly attractive TV or movie characters who were killed off way too soon — and you refuse to let them rest in peace because your libido said “not today.”
The act of reviving someone (usually fictional, hot, and/or dead) through sheer sexual energy, unfiltered thirst, or erotic determination. Often applied to impossibly attractive TV or movie characters who were killed off way too soon — and you refuse to let them rest in peace because your libido said “not today.”
“Alcide from True Blood may be dead, but I will CPR: Crotch-Powered Resurrection that man back to life with nothing but vibes and a lace teddy.”
CPR: Crotch-Powered Resurrection by Jontssss July 17, 2025
Shar Pei-nis
Pip warned me that he was uncircumcised, but I had no idea when he unzipped his pants that he had a Shar Pei-nis.
Shar Pei-nis by Jontssss January 14, 2024
Blue Tulip
Blue Tulip by Jontssss October 14, 2022
Salty Neighbor
When you shoot a load at such high velocity that it goes through the wall and hits your unsuspecting neighbor in the face.
Duuude! I came so hard last night my load blew right through the wall and hit my neighbor Paul in the face while he was watching tv! You could say I have a Salty Neighbor
Salty Neighbor by Jontssss August 28, 2021
salty mariner
When you jerk off in the front/bow of a ship and the cum flys in the wind hitting someone in the face and they lick it off themselves.. mmmmm a salty mariner
salty mariner by Jontssss May 16, 2021