Definitions by Johnny Jerk Off

Soggy Crumpet 

Noun - Masturbating while crying; jerkin' with tears in your eyes.

After Brob was dumped by Luke, he couldn't help but give himself a soggy crumpet.

Jeff's nightly activities consist of pizza alone and a soggy crumpet before bed.

Soggy Crumpet by Johnny Jerk Off December 14, 2014

Five Finger Butt Blast 

Noun - Anal fisting

My boyfriend, Mike, begged me for a five finger butt blast last night. Now my wrist is sore.

Jeremy gave Jacob a great five finger butt blast today, he said he's never gotten his fist so far up another man's rectum before.

Five Finger Butt Blast by Johnny Jerk Off September 1, 2013