Definitions by Johnny DeWadd Watkins

captain kirk 

verb - The act of pushing toilet paper up you hole and twisting it around to make sure you are extra clean up there because much like the legendary star trek commander you are boldly going where no mans gone before in order to circle Uranus in search of Klingons!

I was sure she was going to toss my salad so I Captain Kirked real good

captain kirk by Johnny DeWadd Watkins December 11, 2008

Mung Loaf 

The very, very, very stinky shit you take when a mung load has passed through your digestive system.

I thought nobody would ever stop puking when I dropped that mung loaf I had been baking since last night.

Mung Loaf by Johnny DeWadd Watkins September 10, 2008

mungaloid 

Any sheltered person who does not know the meaning nor the the joy of MUNG

So this mungaloid catches us digging up a fresh one and all the bitch can say is "yuck, what are you guys doing?"

mungaloid by Johnny DeWadd Watkins September 9, 2008

Grav-i-titty Faux Pas 

This occurs when sadly yet inevitably time and gravity take their toll on a woman’s breasts and they start to progressively hang lower and lower. The man still wants to get hot for her but this too becomes increasingly difficult so he fantasises in his mind back to when they were firm and young. Carried away by fond memories he reaches over to cop a feel and he accidentally puts his hand above where her tits actually are now and instead he winds up trying to squeeze the area where her tits used to be.

I had another Grav-i-titty Faux Pas two weeks ago and my wife still isn't speaking to me!

Grav-i-titty Faux Pas by Johnny DeWadd Watkins September 9, 2008

Splooge-Tag 

Splooge-Tag is a game first made popular by the 1986 Van Halen Road Crew but anyone can play. The basic idea is to get a blowjob but at the end you pull out of her mouth and try to get as much in her hair as possible. If she asks why you pulled out tell her it was because you had too much respect for her to come in her mouth, Now, make sure there are no mirrors handy and when you clean her up make sure you do not touch her hair deposit. The last part is where you tell her you have to hurry because somebody needs to meet her. Eddie Van Halen worked great but a parent or Priest or whomever will also work. Hurry her to the meeting and introduce her by saying what a nice girl she then when she steps forward to try to shake hands you stand behind her pointing out the offending mass…really great fun for all!

That's John's sixth girl this week and it's only Thursday...that guy sure loves his Splooge-Tag!

Splooge-Tag by Johnny DeWadd Watkins September 8, 2008

Spunk Gourmet 

An expert on spunk than can tell the race, age, and time since last ejaculation just by the taste.

I taught that little Spunk Gourmet a lesson and ate a bunch of asparagus before she blew me.

Spunk Gourmet by Johnny DeWadd Watkins September 8, 2008

Beast-a-loaf 

The fat chick with an ugly face combo platter

Holy crap...look at that Beast-a-loaf grazing over yonder!

Beast-a-loaf by Johnny DeWadd Watkins July 31, 2006