Jocko Tam's definitions
An ineffective form of management involving steep and sudden changes in direction with seemingly no pattern. People who adopt this form of management often create contradictory directives.
Julie: It's 4pm, I'm off. See you tomorrow.
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
by Jocko Tam July 21, 2009
Get the schizomanagement mug.An acronym turned word crudely referring to the act of a male ejaculating semen onto the face of a female acquaintance. The acronym is GITF standing for "goo in the face." Pronounced (git-fuh), the word can be used as both a noun or a verb.
N: Damn, dat bitch sho' loves da gitf! Dang ol' slut!
V: Yo, we gonna hook up and I'm gonna gitf that hot piece of ass.
V: Yo, we gonna hook up and I'm gonna gitf that hot piece of ass.
by Jocko Tam November 29, 2007
Get the gitf mug.YMV is a word game intended to fool unwitting participants into asking a "where" question so that the respondent can reply with an answer ending in "your momma's vagina."
Jake: Check out this wrist watch. You wouldn't believe where I found it.
Micky: It's nice, where'd you get it.
Jake: Your momma's vagina!
Micky: Crap, YMV...
Roy: I was up late last night. Know where I went?
Albert: Where dude?
Roy: Your momma's vagina!
Albert: Dude I suck at YMV!
Micky: It's nice, where'd you get it.
Jake: Your momma's vagina!
Micky: Crap, YMV...
Roy: I was up late last night. Know where I went?
Albert: Where dude?
Roy: Your momma's vagina!
Albert: Dude I suck at YMV!
by Jocko Tam February 21, 2008
Get the YMV mug.The irrational belief by employers and supervisors that making use of a BlackBerry phone during the business day will result in a lack of productivity. Micro managers are usually afflicted by this disorder.
Susie: I'm off. I'm going to call my friend for a ride home.
Jojo: Down. Susie, down. Down. Put it down.
Susie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jojo: Down, berry down. Put it down. Down, put the berry down. Down, put it down. Down. Down.
Susie: You have Berry Down Syndrome, get help!
Jojo: Down. Susie, down. Down. Put it down.
Susie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jojo: Down, berry down. Put it down. Down, put the berry down. Down, put it down. Down. Down.
Susie: You have Berry Down Syndrome, get help!
by Jocko Tam July 18, 2009
Get the Berry Down Syndrome mug.When someone with hairy nether-regions exhibits less than adequate hygiene, the matted hair due to excess fecal matter forms these disgusting ass dreadlocks.
by Jocko Tam April 26, 2010
Get the shit locks mug.Doctor: Would you like me to circumcise your newborn?
New Mom: Hmm, should I?
New Dad: What? Maul his cock? Ah fuck it, go ahead...
New Mom: Hmm, should I?
New Dad: What? Maul his cock? Ah fuck it, go ahead...
by Jocko Tam December 24, 2012
Get the circumcise mug.The title of a fictitious book, used as an insult towards technology programmers who tend to lean towards the ColdFusion platform due to its simple to learn nature despite the fact they lack any programming skills whatsoever.
What? They hired Dan to do CF programming? He sucks! I hope he picks up his copy of ColdFusion For Douchebags!
by Jocko Tam February 21, 2008
Get the ColdFusion For Douchebags mug.