Definitions by Jamie Douglas

Fat enough to bend light 

If someone is morbidly rotund, obese, or even a little overweight they can be described as being 'fat enough to bend light'. This derives from the fact that massive solar bodies like the sun have enough gravitational pull to alter the path of light rays, a process known as bending. Hence if you suggest someone is fat enough to bend light you are implying they have a weight equivalent to a large star, i.e. many millions of tonnes, and hence must be mocked as such.

"Golly gosh, that poor girl is fat enough to bend light!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"

Fat enough to bend light by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

saw that coming like a fat man round the corner 

Blatently obvious. If a fat person tries to sneak round a corner they will be seen, as their belly will protrude first and give them away. Hence if something can be seen a mile off, or is really obvious, it can be 'seen coming like a fat man round the corner'

Phil: 'Hey, did you hear Janice was fired?'
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"

saw that coming like a fat man round the corner by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006

sweating like a fat man in a cake shop

Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.

Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved

Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'

sweating like a fat man in a cake shop by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006