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Jack Atrophy's definitions

systemic victimhood

All of the factors in a social system that that perpetuate, enable, and incentivize the adoption of identities based in victimhood.
"Why are people listing their ailments in their Twitter bios?"

"Oh, it's a great way to rack up intersectional points and climb up a few tiers in the victim hierarchy."

"Why would they want to do that?"

"Because with victimhood comes a whole bunch of perks. If you are a victim, you always have an excuse to fail. You always have a hypothetical oppressor to blame. You are given license to censure anyone who disagrees with you. You receive an abundance of pity. And best of all, you get to envision yourself as the noble underdog struggling in the next big civil rights movement!"

"That sounds pathological."

"That's because it is... and it is all a product of systemic victimhood."
by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022
mugGet the systemic victimhoodmug.

father fap

What's happening in the other room when you hear very loud moaning coming from your dad's laptop speakers before he frantically turns down the volume.
Brother: Where's dad? He just disappeared...

Sister: I don't know. He's probably having a father fap or something.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
mugGet the father fapmug.

pedagogical paralysis

A disorder that prevents teachers from performing their job competently.

See teach impediment.
My teacher suffers from pedagogical paralysis. That is why I aren't can speak goodly.
by Jack Atrophy August 9, 2022
mugGet the pedagogical paralysismug.

brown beluga

A turd that is all big and knobby at one end but gradually tapers off at the other, resembling the body of a beluga whale.
There once was a man from Chattanooga,
Who dropped a fat brown beluga,
And when he was done,
He screamed just for fun,
"I once blew a guy in Kaluga!"
by Jack Atrophy August 4, 2022
mugGet the brown belugamug.

contact bi

A heterosexual who becomes spontaneously attracted to members of the same sex after shaking hands with a sexy gay guy.

Also, the phenomenon in which this occurs.
"Hey, want to go camping next week?"

"Can't dude, still coming down from that contact bi I got at the gym last month."
by Jack Atrophy August 5, 2022
mugGet the contact bimug.

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