"Have you seen J'Quan, Mrs. Goshberg's' new boyfriend?"
"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."
"Yes, I see she's found another goy toy to play with."
by Jack Atrophy August 06, 2022
When your penis suddenly twitches in anticipation of arousal from a stimulus that your eyes prematurely judge as sexy. A perfect example of this is when you’re in the grocery store and you spot a deliciously fat ass waddling down the yogurt aisle. Your prick twitches– but then you realize it’s a grotesque old man!
The other day I was driving past the horse pasture when I got a prick twitch! I looked down and said, “False alarm, buddy.”
by Jack Atrophy August 06, 2022
When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.
Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."
by Jack Atrophy August 07, 2022
The disorder that afflicts public school teachers who are hopelessly incompetent at their job. Also known as pedagogical paralysis.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Hughes has a teach impediment. You will not be learning any algebra in her class this year.
by Jack Atrophy August 09, 2022
Therapist: "How have you been feeling lately?"
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
Client: "I was feeling depressed, but then I plowed a twink stinker and now feel that life is worth living again."
by Jack Atrophy August 06, 2022