The modern hipster is a creature that generally lacks a sense of belonging in mainstream society due to its aggressive hatred of all things it sees as belonging or relating to the idea of "father". The hipster can be identified by a few trademark signs.
It wears an atrocious array of clothing that is meant to immediately draw attention to the wearer. This is to help other creatures of the same species identify each other and also to fill the hipster's deep-seated need for the attention they feel was denied them by parents who "just don't get them". Perhaps the most iconic piece of the hipster outfit is the so-called "skinny" jeans, though it is rare to see a hipster who fits the aforementioned description. A further visual trait of the hipster is its hairstyle. The hipster considers its hair to be "edgy" and avant-garde when in reality, it is an attention-seeking ploy and a desperate appeal to humans to give it the attention its father never would.
It is not uncommon for the hipster to hold a degree from an educational institution, but the majority of hipsters are merely students with no sort of financial burdens. The degree, however, is usually is Sociology or another discipline of equal worthlessness and is only obtained as a way for the hipster to feel validation for its slew of unfounded political opinions. The average hipster also has a hefty knowledge of the obscure, unpopular music that it listens to to make itself feel unique and important.
Where can I find a hipster if I wanted to study one?
You can usually find them in their natural habitats: either pretending to find symbolism and deep meaning in manga books at Barnes and Noble, or pretending to enjoy coffee at a Starbucks.
February 14, 2011