Religious people do it all the time in defense of the bible! See LITERALLY ANY apologist when speaking about Leviticus. "It's not CHATTEL SLAVERY like in America. It's the better version of slavery!"
Hym "Is it minimizing slavery to say that I work for little more than food and housing? I spend all my money on food, AT THE PLACE I WORK and am essentially working for free because they have effectively outsourced the feeding and the housing OF me to ME and the benefits and security and personal agency I'm SUPPOSED TO HAVE under the auspices of 'Freedom' are not a thing that exist for me. I am LITERALLY in a situation from which I either need to escape from or endure."
I-dot "You're undermining slavery in America!"
Hym "Is it minimizing slavery to say that I work for little more than food and housing? I spend all my money on food, AT THE PLACE I WORK and am essentially working for free because they have effectively outsourced the feeding and the housing OF me to ME and the benefits and security and personal agency I'm SUPPOSED TO HAVE under the auspices of 'Freedom' are not a thing that exist for me. I am LITERALLY in a situation from which I either need to escape from or endure."
I-dot "You're undermining slavery in America!"
Hym "Nothing I'm saying has any effect on historical American slavery! It happened. Neither of use were there. BOTH OF USE ARE HERE NOW AND WE BOTH BENEFIT FROM THE REMEDIATION OF THE THING I'M TALKING ABOUT! You motherfuckers need to USE YOUR OWN SHIT-BRAINS to contextualize the things I say so I don't have to keep doing it for you! Not everyone has the problem you're having. Have you heard the term 'wage slave?' You're argument is literally 'Talking about implicit bonded slavery (in that I have to give myself to a business owner (regardless of my quality of life or needs) to pay off the perpetual debt that accrues by nature of existing) undermines chattel slavery' WRONG! Both can be bad! You don't have a monopoly on things that are bad! And it's the REGARDLESS OF QUALITY OF LIFE AND NEEDS PART that makes it akin to slavery. Bonded slavery and NOT the one that I'M NOT FUCKING TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW! JESUS CHRIST! DO YOU WANT A BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THE WORKING CLASS OR NO!? JESUS!"
I-dot "Then get a different job!"
Hym "THAT'S 'ESCAPING' FUCK-FACE! YOU'RE TELLING ME TO ESCAPE THE THING I'M TALKING ABOUT AND THEN SAYING I'M MINIMIZING SLAVERY! OHMYGOD YOU ALL FRUSTRATE ME!"
I-dot "Then get a different job!"
Hym "THAT'S 'ESCAPING' FUCK-FACE! YOU'RE TELLING ME TO ESCAPE THE THING I'M TALKING ABOUT AND THEN SAYING I'M MINIMIZING SLAVERY! OHMYGOD YOU ALL FRUSTRATE ME!"
by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Get the Minimizing Slaverymug. Hym "Ugh... What IS it? What even IS it?"
Iam "I don't know... Google it."
Hym "Gah! My face is warm and my stomach is hot and it won't stop growling. Why did you buy this!?"
Iam "Stop drinking it then! I don't know! I've heard of it but I've never tried it and the bottle made it look good."
Hym "The bottle made it look- Are you retarded!? The bottle looks like a recycled rat poison bottle! Nothing about this screams 'delicious beverage!' "
Iam "Stop drinking it if you don't like it!"
Hym "We don't have anything else that is carbonated."
Iam "Not everything needs to be carbonated!"
Hym "Haa... Everything is hot. My body temperature has raised by, like, 10⁰. It's like all of the side effects of being drunk without any of the intoxication..."
Iam 😖+🤦+🤏 "You're not even listening anymore... 😑 Alright. Do what ever you want. I'm leaving."
Hym "Blegh! It's like Pepsi and NyQuil teamed up to make Seaweed & NyQuil flavored soda... It's like the soda equivalent to salt and vinegar flavored chips... Ugh! Where are you going? Get more Kombucha!"
Iam "I don't know... Google it."
Hym "Gah! My face is warm and my stomach is hot and it won't stop growling. Why did you buy this!?"
Iam "Stop drinking it then! I don't know! I've heard of it but I've never tried it and the bottle made it look good."
Hym "The bottle made it look- Are you retarded!? The bottle looks like a recycled rat poison bottle! Nothing about this screams 'delicious beverage!' "
Iam "Stop drinking it if you don't like it!"
Hym "We don't have anything else that is carbonated."
Iam "Not everything needs to be carbonated!"
Hym "Haa... Everything is hot. My body temperature has raised by, like, 10⁰. It's like all of the side effects of being drunk without any of the intoxication..."
Iam 😖+🤦+🤏 "You're not even listening anymore... 😑 Alright. Do what ever you want. I'm leaving."
Hym "Blegh! It's like Pepsi and NyQuil teamed up to make Seaweed & NyQuil flavored soda... It's like the soda equivalent to salt and vinegar flavored chips... Ugh! Where are you going? Get more Kombucha!"
by Hym Iam June 03, 2022
Get the Side effectsmug. And you're trying to rend both my mind and my free will away from me in their names. But all what your doing is proving me right. You believe that your fear gives you authority over my will. That's actually the basic premise of the Green Lantern.
Hym "Your kids do not have a RIGHT to my life. You are selfish, solipsistic people and your Jew-God is the solipsistic delusion of authority you think your kids give you. AND THAT... It's what the Christ story is about! Step 1. Jesus demonstrates his ability to perform miracles.
Step 2. You make him explain himself to you.
Step 3. You throw him and his followers into poverty.
Step 4. He explains to his followers what is happening.
Step 5. You turn the public against him.
Step 6. You have a mock-trial where his guilt or innocence is entirely irrelevant and his words are entirely meaningless.
Step 7. You prostrate and torture him to death in front of the mob
Step 8. His followers scatter and try to tell everyone what actually happened.
Step 9. You torture and kill all of his followers.
Step 10. Some time passes
Step 11. Wait a minute... You sound like...
We don't live in a 'children first' society. We live in a society predicated on the ritualist spiritual cannibalism of Christ. 'IT'S GOOD!' He sneers. Face mangled with rage. That's literally what 'God is Good' MEANS."
Step 2. You make him explain himself to you.
Step 3. You throw him and his followers into poverty.
Step 4. He explains to his followers what is happening.
Step 5. You turn the public against him.
Step 6. You have a mock-trial where his guilt or innocence is entirely irrelevant and his words are entirely meaningless.
Step 7. You prostrate and torture him to death in front of the mob
Step 8. His followers scatter and try to tell everyone what actually happened.
Step 9. You torture and kill all of his followers.
Step 10. Some time passes
Step 11. Wait a minute... You sound like...
We don't live in a 'children first' society. We live in a society predicated on the ritualist spiritual cannibalism of Christ. 'IT'S GOOD!' He sneers. Face mangled with rage. That's literally what 'God is Good' MEANS."
by Hym Iam March 07, 2025
Get the Your kids do not have a RIGHT to my lifemug. Hey! I wrote a monologue kind of loke that years ago! Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland are my biggest fans! That shit was cold as ice!
Hym "Yeah! Best monologuer! 'Happiness always ends' from Rick and Morty s7. Dan! DAAAAN! Make Jordan come here and see Hidden Forbidden Garbage-Can... The trash bin is full again but it's still cool. The weathers going to start heating up so... It's gonna stink soon... Look, I'm violating the cleanliness clause of my lease agreement, ok? Tell him he can bring his paid security he's so proud of... They don't get to see Hidden Forbidden Garbage-Can though... IT'S NOT FOR YOU!"
by Hym Iam April 28, 2024
Get the Happiness always endsmug. by Hym Iam October 20, 2022
Get the Marymug. Hym “It’s funny how doing the grunt work (in this situation and NO OTHER) is where all the credit should be given. If I work in a pencil factory and I glue erasers to pencils all day, should I get more credit than the owner of the factory? No. Because, in the same way that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to put together a pencil, it ASLO doesn’t take a Shakespearean level author to copy and paste dialogue off of urban dictionary. I took the risk. I’m the factory owner in this situation and you’re the communist hippie.”
by Hym Iam October 11, 2022
Get the Creditmug. Nah, I'm in the middle of something. I'm doing a bit. I'm doing a bit where I'm Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson's worst nightmare. I'm being a fat loser and a psychopath who lives in a dumpster and doesn't worship them.
by Hym Iam April 02, 2023
Get the Fatmug.