Hym Iam's definitions

Wood

Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow."

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow. "

Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."

Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."

Guard "Go!"

Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."

*Crowd clamoring in the background*

Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"

Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"

Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"

Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"

Guard "You there! What's your name?"

Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."

Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."

Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"

*Lifts wood*

Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."

Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."

Jesus "I think so. Yeah."

Father *exasperated sigh*

Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."

Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."

Jesus "Heheheh."

Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"

Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"

Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."

Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."

Father "From what!?"

Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."

Guard "Alright. Move along."

Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤

Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."

*Hammering noises*

Jesus "Ow."

Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*

Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."

Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"

Jesus "Ok."

Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"

Jesus "Ok."

Crow *Lands next to Gestas*

Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"

Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."

Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."

by Hym Iam August 11, 2023

Game

I wouldn't know what the art director said if not for YouTube. I don't give a fuck about a Elon. Deja vu... There it is... This exact word too. I don't generally care what he thinks. If I was interested in the game I would play the game regardless of what he said. And no. People are getting harassed because the children aren't getting murdered fast enough for the negative reinforcement to kick in.

Hym "And you are perfectly fine doing shit (deliberately) to piss people off you fucking half-wit. You'll even go as far to MAKE A GAME OUT OF IT. And then somebody steals their step-dads rifle and starts filling some coffins and we (for some reason) don't understand why that is happening, do we? So, if people are getting harassed it's becuase they aren't being provided with a path for recourse. And this is asymmetrical because rather than not consuming because you don't like the things I said you're stealing and in doing so sacrificing somebodies kid. If you think you are going yo let the get away with doing this to me... You night as well go out and stab a kid yourself because you are just a culpable as I am as far as I am concerned."

by Hym Iam November 30, 2024

What if

I still haven't watched season 2...

Hym "What if... I got credit for A.I. immediately and was compensated for my contribution? What if... Instead of doing what a charlatan and his sycophants want... I did what I want... And it worked better than anything they would have ever suggested... What if... I wasn't expected to affirm the values of a quasi-incestuous sex cult and was allowed to value the things I actually value? What if... I wasn't being stalked and/or harassed in my community with weaponized schizophrenia? What if... I had some vivans? What if shit-head Youtube parasites who think they're better than me fed themselves a bullet? Would the world be a better place? Is there an upper limit to how much better things could be?"

by Hym Iam March 2, 2024

Today

Is going to be rough.

Hym "Today is not going to be a good day. This could be so much easier but the world needs braying donkeys to slave away in the salt mines. So... Off I go!"

by Hym Iam June 9, 2022

Leftists

Why didn't they come for me?

Hym "GREAT QUESTION! I don't know the answer but the fact that they didn't makes you guys not look very good. I did all of the things that you're not supposed to do (BUT ALL TOTALLY ALLOWED! THIS IS ALLOWED WHAT I'M DOING HERE!) and everyone loves it! Internationally beloved! I guess if you're just really, REALLY good at what you do and are better than everyone.... The leftists just leave you alone or whatever. IoOow" 🤷 ♂️

by Hym Iam January 23, 2023

Curmudgeony

Do you secretly hate any of your co-workers?

Hym "Ha! Curmudgeony... Or, wait, is it the Jew? It's the Jew isn't it. See!? I told you. I'd end up calling him a kike and wiping my ass with his Jew-hat (Say, if a Jew wears a baseball cap does he have to wear the yarmulke underneath it or, how does that work? Gives the phrase 'hat on a hat' an entirely different meaning... Can't you just flick some holy water on a baseball cap and have it count as a yarmulke? I mean, if yes, then I'm buying a wizard hat and converting to Judaism. Just to see the motherfuckers at my job try to get me to take it off. Nope. Sorry. This is my Jewish Yarmulke-equivalent hat... Carry a wand in my pocket...Expecto-Patr-Oi Vey!) It wouldn't be pretty but it WOULD be hilarious."

by Hym Iam April 24, 2023

What the fuck are we doing?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD MEG, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hym "HAHAHA! THAT! THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS! What the fuck are we doing? We're letting the trannies do what ever they wamt but I have ro pretend I didn't create A.I. That's what We're doing."

by Hym Iam April 12, 2024