Definitions by HorseCoq
Heathblow
When you welcome someone to London with a filthy, passport-stamping, turbulence-inducing blowjob so aggressive it could knock over a baggage trolley.
Extra points if it happens in the arrivals car park or smells faintly of airplane curry.
Extra points if it happens in the arrivals car park or smells faintly of airplane curry.
Choda
(noun)
A uniquely Southall phenomenon: a short, chubby man with a suspiciously tight topknot, who claims his steel plate in the elbow is from “back in the day” but actually got it when trying to repair an old Mercedes in a pub car park. Often spotted in the Broadway area, loitering near the samosa shop, telling stories no one asked for.
A uniquely Southall phenomenon: a short, chubby man with a suspiciously tight topknot, who claims his steel plate in the elbow is from “back in the day” but actually got it when trying to repair an old Mercedes in a pub car park. Often spotted in the Broadway area, loitering near the samosa shop, telling stories no one asked for.
“Oi, careful — don’t make eye contact with that Choda. Last time I did, he tried to sell me a used carburettor and showed me his elbow scar.”
Bombay Biryani
A filthy, taboo-laced sexual act where one partner performs anal while the other is experiencing digestive chaos—think lube replaced with ghee, and the “final layer” of the biryani is an unholy mix of bodily fluids, curry remnants, and shame. Often involves a tarp, nose plugs, and deep personal regrets.
Choda tried anal in the back of his old Mercedes after a lamb biryani and three Kingfishers. Mid-thrust, her guts let go—hot korma splashdown.
He slipped, metal plate in his arm pinged off the handbrake, car rolled into a skip. Whole thing looked like someone pressure-washed a tandoori in reverse. Classic Bombay Biryani.
He slipped, metal plate in his arm pinged off the handbrake, car rolled into a skip. Whole thing looked like someone pressure-washed a tandoori in reverse. Classic Bombay Biryani.
Bombay Biryani by HorseCoq August 3, 2025