4 definitions by Hooo-aaahh

N. Procedure by which a sports information topic is examined and analyzed in such great detail and with such great care that the reader is left with a feeling of complete confidence and tranquility with their grasp of the subject. It's often been said that the prep for a Nolanoscopy is the worst part of the process - requiring much research and creative thinking. The subject often requires sedation in order to reach the level of granularity required. Some instances have left the subject with a slight, temporary limp afterward and/or lingering soreness. However, when performed with the greatest of care, the subject will be no worse for wear.
"I can't go out for ice cream, I'm prepping for my Nolanoscopy."
"How can Mark Buehrle be hurt, Aaron is already halfway through his Nolanoscopy"
by Hooo-aaahh March 11, 2009
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Adj.
1. of or relating to a Nolanoscopy.
2. a quality of an event or action that is consistent with the penetration and breadth of a Nolanoscopy.
"To truly reveal the intricacies of this Tuesday's Nationals vs. Pirates matchup we will need to perform a Nolanoscopic examination."

"Khalid's work on the NCAA tournament this year was wonderfully Nolanoscopic."
by Hooo-aaahh March 11, 2009
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Grahammar - a play on the word Grammar

1) Terms or ideas that are biased, enigmatic and/or repetitive. Often pertaining to the Kansas Jayhawks.

2) Terms or ideas that relate to the city of Philadelphia, teams based in Philadelphia or that were based in Philadelphia at some point in the past, players who were born in Philadelphia, grew up in Philadelphia, played sports in Philadelphia, had a parent or family member who as born in, lived in or played sports in Philadelphia, visited Philadelphia on vacation or contain the sub-words "phil", "del" or "phia" in their name. Sometimes Brotherly Love or the Liberty Bell are implicated. The affected area is often extended to include central Pennsylvania and Penn State University and all players, past and present, as well as anyone that owns or has ever owned a Penn State t-shirt. In extreme cases, Pittsburgh is included but only when not involving one of the aforementioned regions.

3) Terms or ideas based in a fantasy world where Kansas and the greater Philadelphia area are central to everything sports related rendering all else secondary. Much like in days of yore when it was believed that earth was the center of the universe. Often accompanied by pom-pom waving.

also: Grahammatic, Grahammatical, Grahammatically

"Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk!"
"Pat the bat!"
"Hey look, it's Aaron Gray!"
"Nick Collison should have been selected first overall in 2003. He is averaging nearly nine points per game this season. LeBron James who?"

"I will take Kerry Collins for my fantasy football team."
"Are you sure? Peyton Manning is still on the board and word on the street is that Collins has started drinking again"

"Kerry Collins' Grahammar Quotient is so high that the entire Titans football team is now deemed worthy of attention on par with Kansas and Philadelphia."

Common response to Grahammatically Incorrect statements: "No! No! No!"
by Hooo-aaahh March 18, 2009
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N.
1. A tool used for or to aid in a Nolanoscopy.
2. A tool or implement used in the atomic examination of a sports entity or topic.
"Oracle and Google were integral Nolanoscopes in my report on the NJIT Highlanders."
"A-Rod, why don't you get comfortable while I warm up the Nolanoscope."
by Hooo-aaahh March 11, 2009
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