Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Shoptimistic

To be positive that the gifts or presents you have bought for someone he or she will enjoy; to be optimistic that the purchases you will make will be well-worth the money.

My mother was so shoptimistic about the presents she had bought for my sister and I this Christmas that she didn't even bother keeping the receipts.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Ghostjob

When an inexperienced girl attempts to give a handjob and she barely grabs onto the shaft resulting in barely any good feeling whatsoever.

Antonym: Gripjob

The only thing worse than a girl being a tease about giving you a handjob is a girl giving you a ghostjob.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

A Snappy Cassy

For a girl to let out a vaginal flatulent or "quiff" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Spicy Michael" when a guy farts into someone's mouth.

"Kayla gave a snappy cassy to her ex-boyfriend after he fell asleep at the party. He woke up humiliated, scarred, and possibly the most turned off by a girl he had ever been."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen

Phrase: Used sarcastically in reply after someone tells you a personal story that was overall stupid, uninteresting and hard to follow;

said in order to imply that the story would only be funny if you were there to witness/experience

Person 1: "... Then the girl was all like "At least I didn't do this and such!" and then I was like "No, you don't get it like that. It's like this you bitch! HAHA!" It was seriously so funny, like you have no idea!"
Person2: "Wow that is The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen."

by hansonpaulsey November 15, 2009

Virgin Mary Jane

Noun: A person who is smoking marijuana for the first time, usually followed by excessive coughing and a repeating statement of "I'm so high."

The Virgin Mary Jane began eating all of my pizza rolls and kept saying "I'm so high."

That pussy only took one hit.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Echoling

Verb: After the act of attempting to hook up with a variety of girls at one setting and getting rejected, then the person will begin "echoling" or ridiculing the same girls in order to compensate for the humiliation of being rejected; the act of being outraged at a girl after her rejecting to hook up with you; "Sex Heckling"

After Michael was rejected by every girl at the party, he began echoling the girls by stealing money from the fat bitch, slapping the tall bitch in the face and then pushing the other girl down the stairs.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

A Spicy Michael

To let out a flatulent or "rip ass" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Snappy Cassy" when a girl quiffs into someone's mouth.

"I gave Dillon a spicy michael after he passed out at the party."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009