Gordy W.'s definitions

Bourne Criteria

Noun: All the things that went wrong in a round of golf.

I had so much Bourne Criteria that my round couldn't have been any good.

by Gordy W. November 19, 2023

Recovery Pimp

A man who preys on girls in early recovery from addiction.

He only goes to meetings because he's a recovery pimp.

by Gordy W. September 4, 2023

Nut Sack Chigger

A type of itch on your ball sack that you can't scratch but have to roll it in your fingers.

My balls itch but I have to roll it, damn nut sack chiggers.

by Gordy W. September 4, 2023

Butthole Tape

The black electric tape people use to wrap their contraband in before shoving it up their butthole in order to get inside the jail.

I gotta take a pack into jail with me so hand me the butthole tape.

by Gordy W. September 4, 2023

Beard Boxer

A girl with a bush that sleeps with women.

She doesn't like men, she's a beard boxer.

by Gordy W. September 5, 2023

Holler Scholar

Noun: Intelligent hillbilly who doesn't pronounce big words correctly.

She's no dummy but when she talks you can tell she's a Holler Scholar.

by Gordy W. June 28, 2025

Sphincter Sprinkler

When a man gets out of bed to go pee and doesn't realize his pecker is stuck to his ball sack and he pees on his butthole.

I had to get a towel this morning cuz I had sphincter sprinkler.

by Gordy W. March 6, 2025