Funny Moms's definitions

covid poser

A Covid poser is someone who on the surface seems to be the most committed person to mask wearing, and social distancing and enforcing all the rules. However this is the same person that was shopping at Walmart, going to a friends house for Thanksgiving and is not wearing a mask unless anyone’s watching.

Me: So Mom, I thought you didn’t leave your house for six months? Why are you at Walmart and out to dinner with your friends, no mask in sight? Sounds like a Covid poser to me?
Mom: “No I just did curbside delivery!”
Me: “Right...”

by Funny Moms December 12, 2020

Dudsgiving

DudsGiving is the name for the holiday when you find yourself surrounded by family and or friends where, unfortunately, the climate is less than lively. We all know there are two types of people in this world, funsters or duds, you are one or the other, and if you don’t know which one, you’re probably a dud. Just one of those holidays ... Happy DudsGiving everyone! Gobble Gobble!

Did Wanda really just want me to look at the bunion on her foot? Is there a reason why there’s no wine in this entire house? Time to call some funsters to liven it up! Happy DudsGiving everyone!

by Funny Moms November 22, 2018

Lost Your Ringtone

To tell someone, specifically a significant other: "You Lost Your Ringtone" is a serious sign the relationship is over. A special ringtone is only reserved for those near and dear. It is the ultimate end of the relationship. On the upside, you can give the former ringtone to your new boo. One persons loss, another's gain.

Nitai: I have bad news. You lost your ringtone. Sorry.

by Funny Moms May 31, 2018

big move

A big move describes the effort one would have to make in order to take an action, or go somewhere. A big move could mean walking two blocks to Starbucks, or driving into the city. It depends on the mind-set of the do-er. A big move requires careful consideration and effort to make happen. The usual decision is 'no' since big moves require too much effort.

K: "Hey Eli, should we head into Berkeley to go to CBCB to buy some kush?"
Eli: "Hmmm I don't know, that's a big move.
K: "Ya, you're right. It's a 45 minute drive... let's chill here."

by Funny Moms February 6, 2018

happy fuck you year

Happy Fuck You Year is the appropriate saying to send to someone who was shitty to you in the past, and you have no desire to wish a 'happy' new year. It is especially appropriate for ex's. Gets the message across quickly in a a mean, slightly stinging manner.

Karen to BFF: My ex was such a jerk last year... Lying, dating other people... I sent him this sexy selfie at 12:01 am New Years Eve and said "Happy Fuck You Year !"

by Funny Moms December 31, 2016

Guiltmas

Guiltmas is used to describe the guilty emotion one feels, specifically around the Christmas/holiday time, when they have failed to do enough giving, sharing joy, caroling, being nice to family & friends, and usually ruined one or more family gatherings. If you have not lived up to the holiday spirit, you definitely understand Guiltmas.

K to sister B: "Mom is still mad because Eli threw up last Christmas and ruined the entire holiday season."
B: "Well she's mad at me, too because I am already ruining Christmas 2016 just because I am getting divorced!"
Karen: "I hate the holidays. Tis the Season, Merry Fucking Guiltmas to all!"

by Funny Moms December 14, 2016

fuckdore

Fuckdore is a word used to describe someone that you adore, but also want to fuck. It implies magnificent fucking ability, combined with being nice and fun.

Sam: So I take it you have no problem meeting men and getting dates?
Me: Duh, of course, men fuckdore me, I don't even need online dating! I'm fucktabulous!

by Funny Moms November 16, 2016