Funny Moms's definitions

stop light texting

Stop light texting is the act of sitting in your car, at an (ideally) long stop light. This is the perfect opportunity to check email, update your FB and scroll through your social media. Typically, if you have teens or children in the car, the act of stop light texting will be rudely interrupted by younger people telling you to stop!

"MOM, stop texting and driving!"
"OMG, I'm stop light texting, leave me alone! Sheesh. You are so over-schooled in this topic!"

by Funny Moms October 26, 2016

The This and the That

"The This and the That" is an expression used to summarize key points in a conversation without actually saying what "this" is or what "that" is. Using the phrase assumes the audience knows what "this and the that" refers to, or they can infer from the rest of the conversation. Can expedite a conversation rapidly to get to the point.

It is customary to follow the phase "a this and the that" with the "that and the this," - everyone gets it.

I'm late for work but it's because the kids were whining, dogs needed walking, dishes left out overnight, the this and the that... and the that and the this... I'm an hour late!

by Funny Moms August 11, 2014

Guiltmas

Guiltmas is used to describe the guilty emotion one feels, specifically around the Christmas/holiday time, when they have failed to do enough giving, sharing joy, caroling, being nice to family & friends, and usually ruined one or more family gatherings. If you have not lived up to the holiday spirit, you definitely understand Guiltmas.

K to sister B: "Mom is still mad because Eli threw up last Christmas and ruined the entire holiday season."
B: "Well she's mad at me, too because I am already ruining Christmas 2016 just because I am getting divorced!"
Karen: "I hate the holidays. Tis the Season, Merry Fucking Guiltmas to all!"

by Funny Moms December 14, 2016

Fuck fest

A fuck fest is what happens in a new, intimate relationship which includes days of sex, usually of the 'I just met you sex vs. make love' sex. At the end of a fuck fest, you appear jacked up, with messy hair, coconut oil everywhere, starving, but happy.

What did you do this weekend? Your hair is a floppy mess...
"Oh had a fuck fest... new BF"
Ah... got it.

by Funny Moms May 27, 2016

friend crossover

Friend crossover is when one friend, introduces another friend to one of her other friends. Then, the two introduced friends, become friends = friend crossover. It can cause extreme angst with the friend who made the introduction, because now they are left at home while her former friends have crossed-over and excluded her from fancy parties and are now new besties!

Emily: I wish I never introduced Gretta to Mikayla. Now they are going to Zach's party together, and didn't even bother to invite me.
Cici: You should have known better - friend crossover never works out! Shoulda' never introduced!

by Funny Moms March 30, 2015

Guilt tax

Guilt tax is the unspoken guilty feeling one has when they are recipients of a generous gift, and mostly likely, have failed to reciprocate at the equal level. The guilt tax is especially high during the holidays when wealthier parents or friends give lavish gifts.

Karen to sister Beth: "Oh my gosh, Mom got me this expensive bracelet for Hannukah and all I got her was a pepper mill."
Beth: "Too bad for you! You're going to be paying the guilt tax for months!"

by Funny Moms December 19, 2014

Dud

Dud is the opposite of funster. You can easily ascertain whether someone is fun-loving, maybe a little crazy OR are they the type of person to be, well, a dud. You will find a dud working overtime at his or her cube, whilst the funster is already at happy hour.

Karen to John O who she's never met: "So, John: are you a funster or a dud?"
John O. "Well I guess you'll have to be the judge of that after we meet" - clearly a dud.

Karen: "Okay, I'll hang with Troy, he's the ultimate funster!"

by Funny Moms January 30, 2015