Ford Leiden's definitions

Massage School Denial

When a massage school student and is in denial of the fact that she is on the path to becoming a prostitute by taking the techniques of massage far too seriously and ignoring the fact that they are essentially training to be a euphemism for a hooker.

She's actually wondering how she's goingb to end up paying her tuition for massage school, she's in total massage school denial.

by Ford Leiden January 13, 2010

Queef Off

When two women compete in queefing tactics, similar to two musicians performing dueling banjos

I challenge you to a queef off!
Da-da dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum
de-de-dum, de-dum, de-dum, de-dum...

by Ford Leiden December 26, 2009

Pull a Plainview

An act that occurs after one person wins an argument against another person. Can only apply if the loser of the argument has reached a point of being shut down and literally cannot speak any longer. The winner of the argument must have already prepared an iPod with a speaker or any sort of music playing device prior to winning the argument in anticipation of the opportunity to "Pull a Plainview" Once the winner has established that they won the argument, they say "I'm Finished" then play the music "Brahm's Violin concerto in D major", exactly like the last scene in the film "There will be Blood" The winner will then allow the entire song to play simply to rub in that they won the argument.

That little bitch was so bad when I proved him wrong how could I help but Pull a Plainview just to rub it in.

by Ford Leiden December 27, 2009

Williamsburg bike lanes

1) A battleground for the war being waged in Williamsburg, Brooklyn between the hipsters and the Hasidic Jews.

2) The new symbol for passive-aggressive antisemitism, with the irony that only a hipster could imagine.

It really made me uncomfortable when they repainted the Williamsburg bike lanes, I mean they're trying to bully the jews in a historically jewish neighborhood. They really need to take a deep breathe and think about what they're doing.

by Ford Leiden December 27, 2009

Pope Fucker

1) Someone with such low standards that they would have sexual relations with the papal father

2)Someone who has literally had sex with the pope

3)the wife or mistress of Alexander Pope

I know all about you and your "business trips to Rome" you dirty Pope Fucker!

by Ford Leiden December 26, 2009

cry me a joaquin

Something said to someone when your sympathy for them is so low they aren't even worth crying a river over.
A reference to Joaquin Phoenix and his older, more talented brother River Phoenix.

Ohhh, poor baby. Cry me a joaquin

by Ford Leiden December 28, 2009

Tactical Fart

The intentional use of flatulence when surrounded by individuals whom you do not particularly like and wish to repel and ward off but don't consider them to be worth the effort of anything other then a fart. More often is the act of having flatulence and not bothering to attempt to cover it up or ward off the smell.

I was stuck at work with those two obnoxious sisters, so I broke out with a tactical fart and that shut them up pretty quickly.

by Ford Leiden December 27, 2009