Fasters's definitions

Piapple

An apple with π markings all over it, which is used as a cure for people who desire to overcome the fear of appearing foolish, as they conspicuously carry the defaced fruit around in public squares.

Guesstimate how many fearful folks worldwide would be bold enough to walk around with a piapple to train themselves to be thick-skinned.

by Fasters May 22, 2023

Make Pi Greater Again

The push by white Christian nationalists in red-pilled states for their politicians to legislate the value of π to align with its biblical value of 3, as inferred from 1 Kings 7:23 and 2 Chronicles 4:2, in exchange for their “holy votes.”

Just as the Pinocchio-in-Chief wants to make America greater again, a bigly proportion of ultra-MAGA patriots, who support other Pharisaic presidential candidates, want to make pi greater again.

by Fasters May 17, 2023

Every pi has a phi lining

The mathematical equivalent of “Every cloud has a silver lining.” When the symbol π reminds millions of math-anxious students and their parents worldwide of their dreaded school math lessons, while the seldom-discussed golden or divine ratio 𝜙 would open their eyes to the beauty, utility, and ubiquity of mathematics.

If more people with a negative experience of school math were told that “every pi has a phi lining,” perhaps math wouldn’t get such a bad publicity among the school subjects.

by Fasters May 13, 2023

The Wokenization of Singapore Math

When white Christian nationalists or ultra-MAGA patriots subscribe to the radical pedagogy that adopting (or adapting part of) the Singapore math curriculum would only adulterate theirs, because exposing local students to alien problem-solving strategies and heuristics under the guise of multicultural math or ethnomathematics would only give undue credit to foreign curriculum math specialists and publishers.

A number of white or “woke” curriculum censors are covertly working hand in hand with American textbook publishers to push for the wokenization of Singapore math, with both parties having a vested interest to ensure that dear inch-deep-mile-wide K–12 math textbooks rather than value-for-money foreign math titles inundate as many states and local schools as possible.

by Fasters May 9, 2023

Pi Politics

The use of different values for the irrational number π to poke fun at the differing polarized views parroted by mostly hypothetical or morally bankrupt politicians in the land of senseless deaths, which occur practically every day due to zero public ban on guns.

An example of pi politics among ultra-MAGA voters is:

Trump: π = 22/7 (because it is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of any circle).

Pence: π = 3 (because the Bible tells me so).

DeSantis: π = x, where x is awaiting final approval by “woke” censors.

by Fasters May 7, 2023

Empithy

When you put yourself in the shoes of the irrational number π, by understanding and sharing her feelings, who has constantly been badmouthed or backstabbed by fellow numerical constants, who can’t stand her fame in both math and pop culture.

Out of envy or jealousy, irrationals like e, 𝜙, and √2 are notoriously known for their zero empithy.

by Fasters May 6, 2023

Money Grows on Trees

An author’s little-known truth, because trees give rise to lumber, which can then be converted to paper, before it is being used to print books, which earn the writer a cash lump sum or an obscene royalty.

In billions of homes, it’s not uncommon for parents telling their children off that money doesn’t grow on trees, or that money is hard to come by, but for millions of authors and publishers, the opposite is true: “Money grows on trees.”

by Fasters April 26, 2023