Faster Redhead's definitions

dildon’t

A vibrator that is so large that the thought of using it is beyond frightening.

I went shopping at the adult store and got spooked by some of the bigger dildon’ts.

by Faster Redhead October 23, 2017

Blinkini

When someone who is overweight, jiggly or generally out of shape wears a bikini, causing you to keep blinking your eyes or rub them in disbelief to make the sight go away

On the beach, the woman in the blinkini wobbled to the water, unaware of the incredulous looks she got from the others.

by Faster Redhead March 24, 2017

Jewber

A Jewish mother who acts as a personal Uber to her kids, driving them playdate to dr appointment to dance class to etc.

I couldn't go out because I had to Jewber my daughter to the mall and then a friend's house.

by Faster Redhead June 18, 2017

Cockeoke

Pronounced cock-kee-oh-kee. Doing karaoke (singing) while giving a blowjob, with the vibrations adding an extra sensation to the BJ. Sometimes accompanied by holding the penis as. Microphone for effect.

Bernadette gave her husband a cockeoke blowjob, prompting him to say "don't talk with your mouth full."

by Faster Redhead July 5, 2017

Blandjob

A lazy and boring handjob with no enthusiasm

Giving someone a blandjob is one way to make sure you won’t see them naked again.

by Faster Redhead October 31, 2017

Poupee

A hairpiece that covers a dog's butthole while it walks. Rhymes with toupee.

It's more pleasant taking my dog out to poop now that she wears a poupee.

by Faster Redhead February 25, 2017

sedermasochism

The forced act of celebrating the Jewish holiday of Passover (seder) with your dysfunctional family (masochism).

Dreading the sedermasochism I will experience when I go to my parents house for Passover next week.

by Faster Redhead May 24, 2016