When a virgin gets her arseand then her pussy fucked for the first time in the same night.
(Girl crying on the phone to her mum after her wedding night)
"Oh mummy I don't like marrige.....it hurts"
"Why's that sweetie"
"Cos I was pancaked last night and I'm bleeding from both ends"
A complete fuckin genius with the biggest cock in the world. A man who makes the ladies week at the knees. Everyone wants to be him.
Woman: Oh Ewan your so fuckin great pound my mound with your huge cock.
Ewan: Shut up bitch! I'm gonna slam your back door out, whip it out and give you a creamy beaver, then stick it in your mouth so you can clean off your own shit!!
Woman: Oh good tanks!!!
