Definitions by Emerson Crossjostle

Hell is for Mildred 

what your grandma believed when she died because that's what you told her

I told grandma, "Hell is for Mildred," because that's what I thought Pat Benatar said. By the time I realized it was a song about children, my poor granny Mildred was dead.

Hell is for Mildred by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013

turduvadove 

A white pigeon (dove) poops on an optimistic person of faith's head to indicate that his/her prayer/request was heard, reviewed, and has been emphatically denied.

Turduvadove. ..Word from above.

turduvadove by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

Asshole Fractal 

The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.

I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.

Asshole Fractal by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

dbdb 

Acronym: don't be a douche bag

The bouncer lost his stamper; so he used a pen and wrote 'dbdb' on everybody's hand.

dbdb by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

urbdicted 

where the misspelled version of a word appears at top of Google because it was first defined on Urban Dictionary

An example of an urbdicted word is burritagasm. It's the combination of the word 'burrito' and 'orgasm'.

urbdicted by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

helmet helmet 

what a helmet wears for protection

If I was a helmet, I'd wear a helmet helmet, too.

helmet helmet by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

Emerson 

Not the 20th century, transcendentalist poet who changed his last name to his favorite word on Urban Dictionary

They were uncomfortable calling him Mr. Crossjostle, so his friends just called him Emerson.

Emerson by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013