Emerson Crossjostle's definitions

dildoridoo

Originally used in Australia as a wooden sex assistant prior to its use as a musical instrument after the accidental discovery that you could get sounds to come out of it.

Once you're finished letting the dildoridoo play you, transmute it into a didgeridoo, so you can play it, too.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013

shit talking shit

poop trash-talking other poop

"You are one stinky shit."
"You stink way more than I do."

"Your mama doesn't even stink this bad." "Your mama does."

(shit talking shit)

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

Congressional confessional

when our elected officials, in a rare moment of clarity, secretly admit they're incompetent

Behind VOID tramp-stamped foreheads residing inside dumb asses, vacuums become self-aware.

“We suck at this.” ~Congressional confessional

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

playing fetch

golf always; soccer usually

TV's on. Wasn't paying attention. Realized I've been ignoring golf, not soccer*. What is with these people playing fetch with their balls?

*world football (whatever)

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013

Hell is for Mildred

what your grandma believed when she died because that's what you told her

I told grandma, "Hell is for Mildred," because that's what I thought Pat Benatar said. By the time I realized it was a song about children, my poor granny Mildred was dead.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013

reverse Operation game

role-playing game; opposite of Operation board game; objective is to ring buzzer with organ

It's called the reverse Operation game. You put the organ in and try to make the buzzer ring.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

Emerson

Not the 20th century, transcendentalist poet who changed his last name to his favorite word on Urban Dictionary

They were uncomfortable calling him Mr. Crossjostle, so his friends just called him Emerson.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013