3 definitions by Eli Vance
Chuck Norris fun facts 2
Chuck Norris doesn't work his jobs pay him for just applying.
Chuck Norris was once George Bush...but now he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man capable of masturbating and running a marathon at the same time.
Chuck Norris created the first computer using the bones of his enemies.
Chuck Norris invented the lightbulb.
Chuck norris invented the question mark.
JK rowling was originally going to be a porn star but due to her not being able to handle Chuck Norris she soon became an author inspired by Norris' naked body thus making Harry Potter.
Due to Chuck Norris' awesome roundhosue kicks he wasn't allowed to play in terminator 3 instead he turned himself into a woman just to star in it.
If Chuck was to ever discover this website he would roundhouse kick the earth thus ending humanity.
During the Cold War nuclear missles were actually launched at America Due to a swift Roundhouse kick Chuck Norris redirected them to Japan thus creating Godzilla!
Waldo isn't hiding he's in a coma after saying Chuck Norris three times in the mirror.
Only Chuck Norris can masturbate to Chuck Norris.
French fries were invented since Chuck Norris got tired of potatoe wedges.
After shaving his pubic hairs Chuck Norris then threw them into the furnace thus making the first werewolf.
Chuck Norris REALLY killed Kenny!
When Carlos Mencia made a joke about Chuck Norris he went from white to mexican due to a radioactive roundhouse kick.
When Lynyrd Skynyrd made the song Free Bird he was actually singing about the time Chuck Norris decided not to Roundhosue kick him.
Chuck Norris doesn't get married he just ensures that death will do them apart.
All that remains was formed After Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the rest of the band.
Chuck Norris IS the first airplane.
Chuck Norris wnats YOU to join the army!
Chuck Norris is the reason why Uncle Sam doesn't exist!
Chuck Norris doesn't work his jobs pay him for just applying.
Chuck Norris was once George Bush...but now he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man capable of masturbating and running a marathon at the same time.
Chuck Norris created the first computer using the bones of his enemies.
Chuck Norris invented the lightbulb.
Chuck norris invented the question mark.
JK rowling was originally going to be a porn star but due to her not being able to handle Chuck Norris she soon became an author inspired by Norris' naked body thus making Harry Potter.
Due to Chuck Norris' awesome roundhosue kicks he wasn't allowed to play in terminator 3 instead he turned himself into a woman just to star in it.
If Chuck was to ever discover this website he would roundhouse kick the earth thus ending humanity.
During the Cold War nuclear missles were actually launched at America Due to a swift Roundhouse kick Chuck Norris redirected them to Japan thus creating Godzilla!
Waldo isn't hiding he's in a coma after saying Chuck Norris three times in the mirror.
Only Chuck Norris can masturbate to Chuck Norris.
French fries were invented since Chuck Norris got tired of potatoe wedges.
After shaving his pubic hairs Chuck Norris then threw them into the furnace thus making the first werewolf.
Chuck Norris REALLY killed Kenny!
When Carlos Mencia made a joke about Chuck Norris he went from white to mexican due to a radioactive roundhouse kick.
When Lynyrd Skynyrd made the song Free Bird he was actually singing about the time Chuck Norris decided not to Roundhosue kick him.
Chuck Norris doesn't get married he just ensures that death will do them apart.
All that remains was formed After Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the rest of the band.
Chuck Norris IS the first airplane.
Chuck Norris wnats YOU to join the army!
Chuck Norris is the reason why Uncle Sam doesn't exist!
by Eli Vance August 18, 2007
More Chuck Norris Fun facts!
Chuck Norris doesn't obey the Fabrics of Reality the Fabrics of Reality obey Chuck Norris!
When Moses said "Let my people go" Chuck Norris replied with a roundhouse kick to his face.
Lightning never strikes Chuck Norris knowing that Chuck Norris will strike right back!
God didn't cause the flood that was simply Chuck Norris taking a piss afterchugging the Atlantic Ocean.
When his girlfriends ask "Whats your name?" Chuck Norris simply says "Chuck Norris" he gets laid within the enxt ten seconds or less OR your money back!
Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends he simply leaves and never returns!
The meteor didn't kill the dinosuars Chuck Norris simply roundhouse kicked them all!
There's no such thing as evolution only Chuck Norris.
Cup of Coffe three dollars, new pair of shoes fourty dollars, getting a blow job by asian prostitute one hundred dollars, getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris...priceless!
Whenever a Nuclear Threat rises it never happens because Chuck Norris stops it five years before the threat is made.
On the first easter Chuck Norris grabbed the Easter bunny and coated it in chocolate before eating him. Just ebcause the rabbit refused to give him all of his eggs!
When God said "Thou shalt not take my name in vain" Chuck Norris shouted "I AM GOD!"
In the original version of War of the Worlds Chuck Norris was fired for taking out the aliens tow seconds in the movie. Peter Jackson was never seen ever since.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat he digests his meals by looking at them.
Chuck Norris appeared in every movie known to man at once!
Adolf Hitler one day got pissed and shouted "Damn you Chuck Norris!" Two seconds later World War 2 was over.
If God was to utter Chuck Norris real name the very universe would collapse within itself!
One day Chuck Norris was feeling lucky after realising he had sex with every female in the world he decided to do Satan! Ever since Satan was banished to hell since God called dibs on Chuck Norris first!
When God said "You cannot eat from to tree of the knowledge of good and evil!" He failed to notice Chuck Norris munching on a piece of the fruit wearing The serpent as a condom while winking at Eve.
Chuck Norris doesn't obey the Fabrics of Reality the Fabrics of Reality obey Chuck Norris!
When Moses said "Let my people go" Chuck Norris replied with a roundhouse kick to his face.
Lightning never strikes Chuck Norris knowing that Chuck Norris will strike right back!
God didn't cause the flood that was simply Chuck Norris taking a piss afterchugging the Atlantic Ocean.
When his girlfriends ask "Whats your name?" Chuck Norris simply says "Chuck Norris" he gets laid within the enxt ten seconds or less OR your money back!
Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends he simply leaves and never returns!
The meteor didn't kill the dinosuars Chuck Norris simply roundhouse kicked them all!
There's no such thing as evolution only Chuck Norris.
Cup of Coffe three dollars, new pair of shoes fourty dollars, getting a blow job by asian prostitute one hundred dollars, getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris...priceless!
Whenever a Nuclear Threat rises it never happens because Chuck Norris stops it five years before the threat is made.
On the first easter Chuck Norris grabbed the Easter bunny and coated it in chocolate before eating him. Just ebcause the rabbit refused to give him all of his eggs!
When God said "Thou shalt not take my name in vain" Chuck Norris shouted "I AM GOD!"
In the original version of War of the Worlds Chuck Norris was fired for taking out the aliens tow seconds in the movie. Peter Jackson was never seen ever since.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat he digests his meals by looking at them.
Chuck Norris appeared in every movie known to man at once!
Adolf Hitler one day got pissed and shouted "Damn you Chuck Norris!" Two seconds later World War 2 was over.
If God was to utter Chuck Norris real name the very universe would collapse within itself!
One day Chuck Norris was feeling lucky after realising he had sex with every female in the world he decided to do Satan! Ever since Satan was banished to hell since God called dibs on Chuck Norris first!
When God said "You cannot eat from to tree of the knowledge of good and evil!" He failed to notice Chuck Norris munching on a piece of the fruit wearing The serpent as a condom while winking at Eve.
Chuck Norris can roundhosue kick you like a spiermonkey!
by Eli Vance August 18, 2007
A spot where young "virgin" women go to lose said virginity to a group of five to fifteen donkeys at once.
by Eli Vance August 10, 2007