El conquistador's definitions
by El Conquistador July 5, 2017
Get the star spangled stomamug. A large load of jizm delivered to the back of ones throat, covering the uvula and tonsils in warm, thick, well churned sperm milk. Not to be confused with the low fat version, I Can’t Believe it’s not Tonsil Butter.
Stuck at work late at night, Cody and Ryan needed a quick snack. All they had in the fridge, of course, was some cheap canned biscuits and eleven jars of grape jelly. Cody started to cry as his hunger pains told him that would not be enough to satisfy him. Ryan wanted to help his friend, so he offered to whip up a fresh batch of tonsil butter for Cody. He gladly accepted Ryan’s generous offering of tonsil butter with enthusiasm. Cody was so moved he was speechless. With a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat, he gave Ryan a big bear hug. Of course Ryan, always the giver, didn’t know who was more satisfied; Cody for the receiving or himself the giving.
by El Conquistador February 20, 2020
Get the tonsil buttermug. Wrecking your boyfriend’s shit socket with your unusually small hands after painting yourself orange and donning a cheap blonde wig.
Ryan wanted to do something special for Robbie’s birthday. They had already tried most other deviant sexual variations and were, quite frankly, bored with the normal pee pee touching and butt stuff. Ryan decided to combine two things that Robbie loves most...Trump and manual anal stimulation. Robbie was well experienced butt had never been Ass Trumped before. He screamed “best birthday ever!”
by El Conquistador December 19, 2019
Get the ass trumpedmug. No more expensive teeth whitening treatments since we discovered the tooth nut. Come on babe, show us your pearly whites!
by El Conquistador May 15, 2019
Get the tooth nutmug. Performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, all while throating a third gentleman in the middle. Basically a modified Angry Pterodactyl with a hands free tonsil punch.
A poem dedicated to our friend Fast Pat, because we know he can take a joke.
Reach to your left and grab Cody by the root.
Wrap your fingers around like you wanna play a flute.
Riggs is here now and he wants to play too.
Two at a time ain’t no challenge for you.
Hold up, you’re not done working.
There’s more to an Angry Triceratops than just a bunch of jerking.
Doty is on deck and he’s full to the rim.
He hasn’t had booger since booger had him.
So plant two lips and work down to the scrotum.
You’ve been dreaming of this ever since you know’d him.
Now get to beating, like those dicks owe you money.
Beat ‘em so angry, they start cummin’ runny.
Don’t forget the middle man, he’s not there for the show.
It’s all about suction, they just call it a blow.
Breathe through your nose and don’t stop till it pops.
Show us why you’re the best, Angry Triceratops.
Reach to your left and grab Cody by the root.
Wrap your fingers around like you wanna play a flute.
Riggs is here now and he wants to play too.
Two at a time ain’t no challenge for you.
Hold up, you’re not done working.
There’s more to an Angry Triceratops than just a bunch of jerking.
Doty is on deck and he’s full to the rim.
He hasn’t had booger since booger had him.
So plant two lips and work down to the scrotum.
You’ve been dreaming of this ever since you know’d him.
Now get to beating, like those dicks owe you money.
Beat ‘em so angry, they start cummin’ runny.
Don’t forget the middle man, he’s not there for the show.
It’s all about suction, they just call it a blow.
Breathe through your nose and don’t stop till it pops.
Show us why you’re the best, Angry Triceratops.
by El Conquistador July 28, 2023
Get the Angry Triceratopsmug. A German smear is made by dipping two fingers in shit, doesn’t matter whose it is, then giving yourself a Hitler mustache with it. Now grab your lover and plant a big sloppy kiss.
Ryan would do anything for Cody, so when Cody asked to try the German smear, Ryan pooped his right there. #truelove
by El Conquistador May 19, 2018
Get the German smearmug. An elderly woman with no teeth giving a blow job. Possibly the closest to heaven any living man is likely to get.
by El conquistador January 17, 2014
Get the dick smuckermug.