Definitions by El conquistador

kansas city hot pocket 

Performing anal sex using BBQ sauce instead of anal lube.

You have not had a real BBQ experience until you have tried a Kansas City hot pocket. Burns so good!

kansas city hot pocket by El Conquistador July 12, 2017

runt ball

The smaller of a mans two testicles.

I love it when my GF holds my runt ball in her mouth and hums the national anthem. God bless America!

runt ball by El Conquistador July 10, 2017

star spangled stoma 

Getting fucked in your neck hole on the Fourth of July.

A Star Spangled Stoma is a terrible way to celebrate the birth of our great nation.

star spangled stoma by El Conquistador July 5, 2017

Turkish pianist 

A person who enjoys fingering butt holes.

That Turkish pianist can play a poop chute like a fine instrument.

Turkish pianist by El Conquistador June 30, 2017

Hawaiian milkshake 

The product of drinking large amounts of pineapple juice to make ones ejaculate taste sweeter.

Hawaiian milkshakes are a low fat treat that my GF can enjoy anytime.

Hawaiian milkshake by El Conquistador March 18, 2017

dick smucker

An elderly woman with no teeth giving a blow job. Possibly the closest to heaven any living man is likely to get.

I was skeptical at first, but that dick smucker gave me the best head of my life.

dick smucker by El conquistador January 17, 2014

fire helmet

When your GF accidentally grabs a tube of Ben Gay instead of massage oil while giving a hand job, thus causing your purple dick helmet to burn intensely.

Stupid bitch gave me a fire helmet last night. She needs to learn how to read.

fire helmet by El conquistador January 17, 2014