To receive head from an elderly female while she is knitting you a sweater or mends the holes in a pair of your socks.
by Eaton Holgoode September 30, 2015
When one sits too far back on the toilet seat while defecating and accidentally leaves small dobs of fecal matter on the edge of the seat.
Roger called janitorial services up to the executive washroom because one of the managers failed to situate properly on the toilet and ended up Dirt Dobbing.
by Eaton Holgoode October 03, 2015
Semen. Sperm. Nut. Nut custard. Man curd. Rock snot. Ball juice. Jizz. Cum. Identified as captain’s relish to signify a higher ranking class of man goo.
Rachel’s getting some of the Captain’s Relish tonight.
Rachel sucks a lot of dicks but she always comes back for a heaping helping of my Captain’s Relish.
Rachel sucks a lot of dicks but she always comes back for a heaping helping of my Captain’s Relish.
by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2018
A slang term used by members of the baking community and pastry chefs to describe sexual intercourse of the vagina or anus whereby the size and girth of the male sex partner literally feels like the female is being split in half just like Torting, in baking terms, is the splitting of a single cake in half.
Jannette: How was your date last night with Melvin after you all finshed your kitchen shift?
Renee: I can barely walk today.
Jannette: Why?
Renee: He took me back to his place and we had wild animal sex. He was so engorged that when I let him walk down Mud Avenue I thought he was Torting me.
Jannette: Wow! I know the feeling.
Renee: I can barely walk today.
Jannette: Why?
Renee: He took me back to his place and we had wild animal sex. He was so engorged that when I let him walk down Mud Avenue I thought he was Torting me.
Jannette: Wow! I know the feeling.
by Eaton Holgoode February 18, 2014
by Eaton Holgoode February 05, 2018
When you blow a hemorrhoid during a massive, rough shit leaving a reddish, rusty colored stool. Very common at rest areas and truck stops from the long haulers stopping in to grunt it out.
I was droppin’ a rusty at the rest stop today before I got back on the road.
Someone was in there droppin’ a rusty. It sounded painful. All I heard was straining and the words “Damn Roid” then a very wet splash.
Someone was in there droppin’ a rusty. It sounded painful. All I heard was straining and the words “Damn Roid” then a very wet splash.
by Eaton Holgoode April 27, 2018
To thoroughly lubricate one's privates or nether regions for masturbation or other sexual activity. Derived from the petroleum jelly product Vaseline.
Carl's girlfriend was thoroughly enjoying his delivery of oral foreplay but she stopped him to allow him to Vaselize himself for some highly anticpated anal plundering.
by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015