Pop the Grapes

Bust a nut. Blow some rope. Spew the goo.
She was riding me cowgirl and it took about 5 minutes to pop the grapes.

I rubbed one out last night. I needed to pop the grapes.
by Eaton Holgoode December 10, 2018
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Soft Jerk

Masturbation of or a hand job performed on a soft, flaacid penis. Remains soft and unerect and unable to nut.
I passed out last night doing a soft jerk.

Rachel was disappointed in my performance after she was only able to give me a soft jerk.
by Eaton Holgoode February 12, 2018
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Moisteners

Moisteners refer to any combination of acts of sexual foreplay that are performed by a male or a female on a female with the specific intent to arouse the female for sex play and to create a moist and wet vagina prior to having sexual intercourse, finger play or dildo play. When performed, Moisteners themselves may, but not always, create a female orgasm or squirt in addition to making her extremely wet.

Examples of Moisterners can include, but may not be limited to, touching, rubbing, fondling, kissing, licking, sucking, etc.
Barry was so horney when he got from from work that he threw his girlfriend on the bed and after performing a series of different Moisteners, she was ready for sex play and he buried his meat thermometer deep in her wet loose meat sandwich.
by Eaton Holgoode March 06, 2014
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Butt Batter

Simply put, explosive, liquid shits. Often induced from too much alcohol and poor dietary choices.
Never again will I consume that much tequila. I've got some firey butt batter today. It's so explosive I'll need to perform a peripheral wipe when I'm done.
by Eaton Holgoode November 23, 2016
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Pearl Onions

A shaven, smooth scrotum with a shiny, glistening appearance of baby skin.

The complete opposite of Pickled Onions.
She loves slobbing on my knob but she really loves fondling my pearl onions.
by Eaton Holgoode February 09, 2017
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Geri-Jerk

When a male, typically in his 20's or 30's, receives a hand job from an elderly, geriatric male or geriatric female.
Frank went to Walmart and with a little sweet talk, picked up an old lady in the pharmacy department. She accompanied him to his car in the parking lot where she graciously gave Frank a Geri-Jerk before resuming her shopping for adult diapers and fiber pills.
by Eaton Holgoode August 10, 2015
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Salmon Toupee

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.
Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.
by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009
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