Grimsby trawler

A rough looking heavy-set dumpy whore who is unlikely to appeal to the average punter. Occasionally seen plodding the beat in red-light areas late on, looking desperate and dejected holding a carrier bag and with her over-sized dugs resting on her cannibal cooking pot sized belly half exposed..
Sir was on tour again last night and the streets were somewhat empty of prime stock.. However, a Grimsby trawler was seen moving slowly down the main drag and Richard wondered what her price might be..

Such an act would surely be considered a charitable deed, but alas, as he returned, his chances of having his bell chewed were negated as she was no longer apparent.. Some other sexual philanthropist had snaffled the beast..
by Drex Johnson October 28, 2019
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sperm sponge

A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson September 18, 2008
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ball bagged

The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..

This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..

Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..

A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
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bellus terminus

Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..

Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
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FTP

Face, Tits, Pussy.. The basic "big 3" pics required before a gentleman decides if it is worth having a midnight randyvous with any lady in question that he may have found while browsing the internet on his wankport..

Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Richard always insisted on getting the FTP shots from any lady he was considering meeting, but often he would blow his load immediately he saw them and then decide she was too much of a cheap slut anyway.. So perhaps it was counterproductive in a strangely unexpected way.. Wankers remorse..?
by Drex Johnson October 19, 2014
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gash master

A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..

Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson May 21, 2011
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fish rack

A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..

Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..

Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..

Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
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