Dr. Josephus 's definitions

cuff-link

n. a golden sausage wee-nis. Characterized by bronzed, tan glow and sparkly, transparent edges. The cuff-link style wee-nis is found only in the most affluent adult locales.

"Not only does Harold have that sexy smile and a convertible to die for...he has an 8-inch cuff-link!"

"Oh Carol...I'm so proud of my daughter!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

swing report

n.: a private diary kept by a swinging couple. The diary maintains partner names, dates, and locations as well as brief descriptions of explicit sexual encounters with anonymous partners. The entries may also include "likes" and "dislikes" of certain prospective partners, in order to gain a competitive edge on the group at future swing parties.

"Melanie and I read one of our swing reports from the 2005 fiscal year...and you would not believe how much we spent on anal-related costs and mergers!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

crack report

n.: a newspaper or similar medium, rolled tight and fashionably stuffed in the rear between the pant waist and the undershorts of a middle aged man. Crack reports can be found anywhere, but are most common at race tracks, betting venues, ball games, and other sporting events. Most reports, but not all, contain various residue, leftovers and miscellaneous bacteria that is considered unsanitary by the local health department.

"Charlie! Don't pick up that crack report! You don't know what asshole has been reading that..."

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009