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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd's definitions

Mike Gravel

The 2008 presidential candidate with the biggest balls. Man, that guy has balls the size of his homestate (Alaska).

He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.

Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.

Balls, I tell you!
Man, that Mike Gravel dude has some ginormous balls.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 28, 2007
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8113

The year that the world's largest time capsule, "The Crypt of Civiliation" in Atlanta, is scheduled to be opened.
circa year 6000 --

Archeologist 1: Whoo-hoo! I just located a motherlode of info on a civilization four thousand years old.

Archeologist 2: Wait! You can't open it. It says, "Do not open till 8113." Too bad.

Archeologist 1: Darn.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 13, 2007
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Is it soup yet?

It means "Are you finished?" or "Is it time?"

Comes from a 1970's Lipton instant soup commercial, notable on several levels. First off, it was a slam against Campbell's which was merely condensed. Lipton did Campbell's one better and removed itself even further from the real stuff, by removing ALL the water and powdering the soup. Only when re-hydrated with boiling water, was it again soup.

So kid's in commercials would ask, "Is it soup yet?"

AND BACK THEN, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING!!

The fact that it was even more prefab than Campbell's was a selling point!
Wife: I'll be ready to go in a minute?
Husband (a few minutes later): Is it soup yet?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2008
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thought-criminal

an American who isn't a neocon.
You're a traitor! You're a thought-criminal! You're a terrorist spy! I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007
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grottie

a girl who is gross, but a hottie. She burps, farts, scratches her butt and when she picks her nose or ears yells, "Jackpot!"

Particularly desirable as a girlfriend as she's hot... and being gross herself, she can never be disgusted with you because she is disgusting herself.

Marry her.
You hit the jackpot, brotha! You’ve got a girlfriend who can never get on your case for being disgusting because she’s even more disgusting. Sonny is gross and a hottie. She’s a Grottie!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd August 20, 2010
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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
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funny papers

the comics section of the Sunday newspaper.
Give me half the funny papers or die.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd October 5, 2008
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