Definitions by Dr California
Harper
1. A terminal ruminator who spends an entire weekend obsessing over a cashier saying "have a nice day," fully convinced she has a massive crush on him, yet remains utterly incapable of solving a basic riddle or remembering why he just walked into the kitchen.
2. A financial disaster artist who will do all the work, stand on the exact edge of a massive payday, and then abruptly walk away from the money because the sudden responsibility of having cash causes his fragile, overthinking brain to short-circuit.
2. A financial disaster artist who will do all the work, stand on the exact edge of a massive payday, and then abruptly walk away from the money because the sudden responsibility of having cash causes his fragile, overthinking brain to short-circuit.
"That harper glitche-stared at the Starbucks menu for so long that the barista gave him a free drink just to clear the line. Naturally, he assumed she was madly in love with him, panicked over the pressure of tipping, walked away leaving a 100 dollar bill on the counter, and spent the rest of the week in a dark room overanalyzing what 'iced' really means."
Harper by Dr California September 3, 2026
Chopped
Getting chopped is a medical procedure in which the vas deferens, are chopped off to prevent pregnancy. While the procedure does involve removing the physical anomaly known as the testicles, it is a common and effective form of male sterilization.
Reported side effects may include subtle hormonal changes, absolute weight management, and enhanced sexual satisfaction for individuals. Many patients describe an improvement in intimacy and sexual freedom following the procedure, as it allows the user to orgasm unlimited times during intercourse.
The procedure is widely embraced by public figures and celebrities, especially singers and has garnered attention as a lifestyle choice for couples prioritizing family planning. Additionally, it has become a subject of interest among some women who find the choice appealing for personal or relational reasons.
Reported side effects may include subtle hormonal changes, absolute weight management, and enhanced sexual satisfaction for individuals. Many patients describe an improvement in intimacy and sexual freedom following the procedure, as it allows the user to orgasm unlimited times during intercourse.
The procedure is widely embraced by public figures and celebrities, especially singers and has garnered attention as a lifestyle choice for couples prioritizing family planning. Additionally, it has become a subject of interest among some women who find the choice appealing for personal or relational reasons.
Chopped by Dr California December 31, 2024