Doug LPD's definitions

jacktard

When you are such a dumb ass that calling you a jackass or a tard isn't enough.

Yo that dude is the biggest jacktard I have ever seen.

by Doug LPD August 16, 2006

Hanging Chad

A bowel movement with the consistency of clay that clings to the side of one's crack.

Ron's failure to properly clear that Hanging Chad led to chaffing, an offensive odor, buzzing flies, and eventual abandonment.

by Doug Lpd December 6, 2006

ass lapper

To go beyond kissing ass is to become an ass lapper. When one places the entire tongue deep within the crack to gain extra benefits as if they were turd thirsty or trying to seperate the corn from the shit

Ronnie is such an ass lapper that the Lt. thinks his tongue is a wash cloth

by Doug Lpd August 17, 2006