Definitions by David Cowpell Downtrodden

Hospital Appointment 

Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.

"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."

Hospital Appointment by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Murphed 

Strangely akin to 'morphed' in that the most regular and mild-mannered individual can, in the space of a few hours, turn into a rabid, dribbling fiend, screaming obscenities willy-nilly, controlled by the strings of Arthur Guinness. The act of spending an evening in the company of Vince Murphy of Rathmines. Yeehaw.

"Mattress was locked the other night, man."
"Yeh, he was completely fragonned and controlled by strings."
"Exceedingly Murphed. Oh no, he's coming over..."
"Can ye not do that somewhere else..?"

Murphed by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Fischlered 

To drink approximately 20 pints of shtout and to store them indefinitely just above your pelvis in a seventies suit (elastic) whilst sitting on a bench in a catatonic state in Rathmines, eyes barely open, but retaining the fine, ambassadorial persona of a leading eurocrat.

"Look at the state of Franz today!"
"He is surely locked out of this world."
"Decidedly Fischlered."
"Possibly Murphed also."

Fischlered by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Mama Red Cap 

Almost human creature that beetles around Rathmines wearing a red cap, talking loudly to it's selves. Hat functions as a beacon for psychotic activity but also makes a fine, fine storage vehicle. Ideal for carrying spuds.

"Mama's red cap is white today."
"Shit! I didn't see the change coming."
"You just aren't street enough."

Mama Red Cap by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Rathmines 

Portal of absolute lunacy and hotbed of psychotic behaviour. Where dense legions of the disturbed appear, reappear and vanish indiscriminately, hounded by invisible demons and caught eternally between the havens of Ranelagh
and Rathgar, longing to find their way home. "It's under the stairs in the Swan Centre!", I shouted, but to no avail. They just walked through me.

"Does this bus go to Rathmines?"
"No. NO. GOD NO! PLEASE. NOT THAT PLACE. ANYWHERE BUT THAT PLACE! LEAVE NOW. WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE. THEY WILL KILL YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU. FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR DEAR LIVES!"

Rathmines by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

Kyliemore Cafe 

Geographical location for varying scientific projects such as, how long can scrambled eggs exist after being reheated 9 times? How many looneys can you fit within four walls? When does madness actually stop, if ever?

"Mmmm. I fancy a load up. Is there a local asylum I might indulge my appetite in?"
"Why yes! Try Kyliemore's. It's hilarious."

Kyliemore Cafe by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004

bovinity 

The absolute antithesis of sincere behaviour in human form. Namely executed in completely nonsensical and ridiculous taskmaking within the workplace, encouraging the widest possible deviation from the direct route of A to B (via Z). Also an adequate description of idiotic juvenile behaviour (the like last seen in the playground) carried out by a grown woman/beast.

"Could you immediately fill out five forms in triplicate for the next toilet paper order?"
"Yes! In the name of insane bovinity, I shall! (Ya fat heifer)."

bovinity by David Cowpell Downtrodden March 26, 2004