DarkCoffee 's definitions

Nimp

A man who willingly funds their ex girlfriends lifestyle while she’s getting blown out and throat f**ked by other guys, and later comes home from work to shove his average size penis into a gaping hole filled with the semen of all his friends, family and neighbors.

“Nik, don’t be such a Nimp. She literally has the neighborhoods semen pouring out of her ear holes, she doesn’t deserve to be taken out to a nice dinner”

by DarkCoffee January 12, 2025

Waffle Stomp

When you take a shit in the shower and decide to stomp on the turd to mash it down the drain.

I don’t buy toilet paper anymore, I just shit in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain.

by DarkCoffee January 12, 2025

Sperm Turkey

When a girl is getting mouth fucked and you bust in her mouth so she sounds like a gobbling turkey

Luke: I was mouth fucking this chick last night and when I was cumming she started gobbling like a sperm turkey.....I was so jealous that she got to experience that.

by DarkCoffee July 14, 2021

Corona Boarding

During these crucial times of the pandemic, its important to stay safe at all costs, especially during sex. Thats where Corona boarding comes in handy. Just grab a sheet of plexiglass for total transparency or a sheet of plywood if you don't want to look at the cow you're plowing. Put a few handles on it and cut out a hole for your cock. Crank the bob Marley, throw on your flower lay necklace, grab your bae, and take her on the ride of a lifetime.

Gabe: Hey wanna fuck?

Random woman: umm...theres a pandemic right now.

Gabe: no worries, I have a Corona board

Random woman: Gnarley! I can't wait to catch that wave

Gabe: Corona boarding rocks!

by DarkCoffee September 11, 2020

Egg on my face

When you are embarrassed by your ex girlfriend for leaving a snail trail of other dudes semen behind her everywhere she walks, so you decide to crack a few eggs over your head and let the goo slowly run down your face so you can feel like a cumshot whore without the risk of ruining your self esteem.

Random man: “Jesus Christ man, tell your lady to grab a f**king mop! I almost slipped on her snail trail.”

Nik: “Omg brother I’m so embarrassed (pulled 2 eggs from his pocket and cracks them over his head) now I have egg on my face.”

by DarkCoffee January 12, 2025

Eblowtional

When you’re so emotional, you whip your dick out and blow it in the ocean.

Man: I’m so emotional today, I feel like driving to the ocean, pulling out my average size penis and blowing it in the ocean. I wish I had a name for what I’m feeling….Eblowtional!

by DarkCoffee January 12, 2025

Semenilla

When you consume so much semen that you get sick and start puking and shitting semen everywhere.

Bengals fans: I guzzled so much semen over the weekend after celebrating our first winning season in 10 years. I think I got semenilla, it won't stop pouring out of my ass and I keep puking.

by DarkCoffee July 14, 2021