Definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

automatic 

A type of automobile transmission used by old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.

You can spot cars with automatic transmissions as you drive on any road. The drivers step on the brakes for random cosmic events. If they see a fuzz, they step on the brakes. If they see a car pull up to a side street, they step on the brakes. If they come to an intersection, they step on the brakes. If they see a crow, they step on the brakes.

The repeated brake lights warn all stick shift drivers that a totally incompetent "driver" is operating the car.

No man with any self respect would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.

automatic by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005

Flopper Stopper

A bra constructed to inhibit the flopping of Floppers. A support for a woman's breasts that keeps them from flopping around.

I hope you remembered to wear your flopper stopper, Charmaine.

Flopper Stopper by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005

Binderfender 

An audible fart. An expulsion of waste gaseous hydrocarbons from the anus, accompanied by an audible roar or blatt, discernable by even the hearing impaired.

Miss Chalmers entertained the Ladies' Sewing Circle by blowing a raucous binderfender.

Binderfender by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005