Would you like to donate a dollar to dying children today?
No, but when I get home I'm gonna money-fuck my wife.
No, but when I get home I'm gonna money-fuck my wife.
by But Sects December 30, 2015
The first shit you take after digesting Thanksgiving dinner. Usually very dense due to overeating, bordering on a blockage either due to size or consistency, (see: ‘mustard plug’) which prompts a gastrointestinal journey of epic proportions whilst trying to expel. The panic and fright felt during the initial urge to go is akin to the uncertainty the voyagers of the Mayflower must have felt before spotting land. Once the amalgamation of turkey, ham, stuffing etc begins to pass the event horizon of the anus, hope is restored, just like the settlers had when they finally reached the promised land.
“This year I’m thankful I made it to the bathroom on time to drop a plymouth rock.”
“Bob destroyed the toilet with his Plymouth Rock on black friday.”
“I Clogged the toilet at the hotel after Thanksgiving and just left it for the maids. They didn’t land on Plymouth Rock; my Plymouth Rock landed on them.”
“Bob destroyed the toilet with his Plymouth Rock on black friday.”
“I Clogged the toilet at the hotel after Thanksgiving and just left it for the maids. They didn’t land on Plymouth Rock; my Plymouth Rock landed on them.”
by But Sects November 22, 2023
The first shit you take after a large holiday meal such as thanksgiving. Usually unpleasant due to overeating and the volume of food digested in a short period of time. A hard and concentrated amalgumation of holiday foods that may be difficult to expel.
“Im gonna use the bathroom in the basement, I got a plymouth rock from all grandma’s cooking I need to push out and it may be awhile.”
“Let’s hurry up and checkout of our hotel room. I clogged the toilet with a plymouth rock.”
“We’re gonna need an enema for the patient in room 5, they went to the buffet for christmas and need to deliver a plymouth rock.”
“Let’s hurry up and checkout of our hotel room. I clogged the toilet with a plymouth rock.”
“We’re gonna need an enema for the patient in room 5, they went to the buffet for christmas and need to deliver a plymouth rock.”
by But Sects March 24, 2024
Similiar to getting catfished or catfishing. Getting tuna flopped is when you meet someone online for the purposes of sex or romance but the other party’s intent is solely to rob you or do something else nefarious to you, usually when you’re in a compromising position. Similiar to fishing when the fish is baited and pulled out of the water and is then flopping around on the deck while the fishermen high five.
Bob got tuna flopped last night when he met a girl online and she stole his wallet while he was in the shower.
The hooker I met in vegas tuna flopped me when we got back to the room and her pimp was waiting for us in the closet with a bat.
Got tuna flopped last night when my date stole my car after I fell asleep.
The hooker I met in vegas tuna flopped me when we got back to the room and her pimp was waiting for us in the closet with a bat.
Got tuna flopped last night when my date stole my car after I fell asleep.
by But Sects November 29, 2024
The often unneccessary act of someone placing the plastic divider on a grocery store conveyor belt to seperate their items from yours. Can be used as a metaphor for other situations.
Person 1: “Did you really just grocery-stick me? I have $100 worth of food and your only items are a candy bar and a tv.”
Person 2: “....Uh, I just didn’t want them to get mixed up.”
Person 1: “Never in the history of the world has anyone switched items with another person using a grocery stick because they would still have to pay for it.”
Steve: “Hey man, did you go home with that hot blonde last night?!
Kevin: “Nah man, I got grocery-sticked by her fat friend.”
Stacy: “Did you get Taylor Swift’s autograph?!
Monica: “Fuck no! I got up close when she got out of her limo but got grocery-sticked by three security guards!”
Stacy: “.....sounds hot”
Monica: “No, look it up on urban dictionary .”
Person 2: “....Uh, I just didn’t want them to get mixed up.”
Person 1: “Never in the history of the world has anyone switched items with another person using a grocery stick because they would still have to pay for it.”
Steve: “Hey man, did you go home with that hot blonde last night?!
Kevin: “Nah man, I got grocery-sticked by her fat friend.”
Stacy: “Did you get Taylor Swift’s autograph?!
Monica: “Fuck no! I got up close when she got out of her limo but got grocery-sticked by three security guards!”
Stacy: “.....sounds hot”
Monica: “No, look it up on urban dictionary .”
by But Sects December 11, 2019
A small preliminary shit that, once expelled, gives way to a large volume of feces. It resembles and reminds one of the crust of dried mustard that forms on the cap of the bottle which must be voided before the main mass of the condiment can be squeezed out.
Jason: "How's your stomache ache, bro?"
Matt: "It's gone now. I had a thick mustard plug that was blocking a giant diarrhea bomb."
Jason: "Gross dude!"
Matt: "It's gone now. I had a thick mustard plug that was blocking a giant diarrhea bomb."
Jason: "Gross dude!"
by But Sects June 15, 2017
When you eat some cake, cookies or other pastries flavored with red velvet and then after digestion have to determine if you’re expieriencing anal bleeding or it’s just the red velvet. The time between consumption and expulsion usually prompts a momentary period of panic during a shit before you remember your poo is red because of something you ate rather than a serious hemorrhage.
This whole wedding party gonna be taking the Red Velvet Challenge in about 18-24 hrs.
It’s always funny taking the Red Velvet Challenge because I always forget until I wipe and think my asshole is bleeding. After about three seconds of panic I remember what I ate, chuckle, and think “damn, tricked myself again!”
Grandma called the ambulance last night cause she thought she prolapsed her rectum again. Little does she know my baking made her a contestant in the red velvet challenge
It’s always funny taking the Red Velvet Challenge because I always forget until I wipe and think my asshole is bleeding. After about three seconds of panic I remember what I ate, chuckle, and think “damn, tricked myself again!”
Grandma called the ambulance last night cause she thought she prolapsed her rectum again. Little does she know my baking made her a contestant in the red velvet challenge
by But Sects September 03, 2023