Gunneritis (n.)
A chronic and incurable psychological condition affecting football fans, characterized by unwavering support for Arsenal Football Club despite repeated heartbreak, underachievement, and self-inflicted setbacks.
Symptoms:
False hope syndrome – Convincing oneself that "this is our year" every August, only to be mathematically humbled by March.
Top 4 Fever – Viewing fourth place as a trophy and celebrating it accordingly.
Trophy Hallucinations – Repeatedly reminiscing about the Invincibles era as if it happened yesterday, despite it being over two decades ago.
Red Card Rage Disorder – A tendency for one’s team to collect unnecessary red cards at crucial moments, often ruining promising matches.
Europa League Fatigue – The annual cycle of dropping from the Champions League group stage or bottling Europa League knockout rounds.
Managerial Denial Syndrome – Believing every new manager is "the one," before inevitably calling for their sacking within three seasons.
Spurs Obsession – Measuring success against Tottenham, even when finishing trophyless.
Prognosis:
No known cure.
Condition worsens in February/March when the annual title collapse occurs.
Symptoms temporarily subside after occasional FA Cup wins but quickly return.
Treatment:
Lower expectations.
Embrace banter.
Consider switching to a stress-free sport like chess.
Accept that Arsenal will Arsenal, no matter what.
A chronic and incurable psychological condition affecting football fans, characterized by unwavering support for Arsenal Football Club despite repeated heartbreak, underachievement, and self-inflicted setbacks.
Symptoms:
False hope syndrome – Convincing oneself that "this is our year" every August, only to be mathematically humbled by March.
Top 4 Fever – Viewing fourth place as a trophy and celebrating it accordingly.
Trophy Hallucinations – Repeatedly reminiscing about the Invincibles era as if it happened yesterday, despite it being over two decades ago.
Red Card Rage Disorder – A tendency for one’s team to collect unnecessary red cards at crucial moments, often ruining promising matches.
Europa League Fatigue – The annual cycle of dropping from the Champions League group stage or bottling Europa League knockout rounds.
Managerial Denial Syndrome – Believing every new manager is "the one," before inevitably calling for their sacking within three seasons.
Spurs Obsession – Measuring success against Tottenham, even when finishing trophyless.
Prognosis:
No known cure.
Condition worsens in February/March when the annual title collapse occurs.
Symptoms temporarily subside after occasional FA Cup wins but quickly return.
Treatment:
Lower expectations.
Embrace banter.
Consider switching to a stress-free sport like chess.
Accept that Arsenal will Arsenal, no matter what.
by BurgerBucks March 11, 2025
Get the GUNNERITISmug. "Yo, those chips would be cheddar if we could dip them in some burgernaise"
"Hi, I would like a cheeseburger, two fries and couple of burgernaise dips"
"Hi, I would like a cheeseburger, two fries and couple of burgernaise dips"
by BurgerBucks March 20, 2024
Get the Burgernaisemug.