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Bobby the Bug Man's definitions

working the valves

When a man has just pulled up to a urinal in a public restroom and has a gas bubble drop to the back gate at the same time as the flow is about to start. At this moment, a friend walks in and calls you out by name. Now your identity is revealed to others that are in the stalls. With this happening, you can no longer let the brown cloud come flapping out. The only thing you can do is limit the flow with enough squeeze on the urethra that didn’ doesn’t compromise the rectum seal.
Fuck man, my boss walked in to bathroom right when I pulled up to the urinal. A gas bubble dropped and I was working the valves to save myself from an embarrassing fart.
by Bobby the Bug Man March 23, 2022
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Sonic Poo

This is an event that occurs when a shit has brewed under the extreme pressure of last night’s streak and you’re now sitting on the commode ready to unload. At this moment, the gas escapes as such a velocity that you no longer have the sphincter strength to stop this hell from escaping. Usually it starts with a quick clap, followed by gigantic explosion that breaks the sound barrier, then ends with a dry-to-wet sputtering that let leads to feces in any state of matter to then rely on gravity to make a splash. It should also be pointed out that the explosion has a specific echo that is purely unique to this event. And, you ALL know what I mean.
I just had the most epic sonic poo of my life. The pressure was immense and I may be deaf now.
by Bobby the Bug Man January 27, 2022
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gasplosion

When you have every sign that your bowels are full beyond capacity and a major shit needs to be taken, but upon parking your ass on the commode and easing the tension on your blowhole, all that comes out is 100psi of fecal flavored gas. No poop. Not even an M&M. Just enough methane to heat an igloo for the winter.
Me: Ah oh, I need to find a toilet immediately!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!
by Bobby the Bug Man February 11, 2022
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squearly

When a male, usually a teenage boy, is interacting with a female counterpart and gets so excited that he squirts a load in his pants before even seeing a nipple.

This is also known to happen to introverted Boy Scouts in a strip club before the song even starts.
- Hey girl, how did things go with that boy you met at the party last night?
- Well, I had him take me to my apartment after we left. Things were going great and we were flirting hardcore. We made out all the way up the steps to my front door. When we got there, he was acting nervous and that's when I noticed...
- Oh shit, did he squearly?
- Yep, totally squearlied through his khakis.
- That's so embarrassing!
- Well, after that, I was pissed. I made him take off his pants and underwear and told him to put on the panties I was wearing then sent him to the couch to sleep. After that, I called my fuck-buddy to come over and took it in the ass with my bedroom door open so that wuss could hear how a real man does thing.
- Damn girl, you're savage as fuck!
- Sure am...considering I had that wuss take my fuck-buddy home after I got done rimming him.
by Bobby the Bug Man May 12, 2021
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going for a swim

The act of using a public pool to clean one’s taint, asshole, salty balls, sweaty labia, roast beef lips, duct butter, and/or crusty shaft.
Gentleman - “Babe, I’m going for a swim in the pool right now.”

Lady - “Oh, I’m so gonna give you a room job tonight!”
by Bobby the Bug Man June 26, 2021
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