Bobby the Bug Man's definitions
A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab without tipping and hung around to bullshit with friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the patron and precedes to tell them about the urban legend that if someone blows on one's asshole, that person can't shit. At this point, the non-tipper is so obliterated and a non-believer of the urban legend and asks to have it proven. At this point, the server/bar tender has the patron lie on their back up on the bar, on the floor, or on a stage. They then pull down their pants to expose the chocolate star and ask the non-tipper to blow. Upon the cool breeze hitting the 'ol balloon knot, the bowels are released, leaving a free swirly on the patron's face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with Jason at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass co-worker, Adam, with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn't tip our server. He then proceeded to hang around like Epstein in a prison cell. After a while, the server told him THE urban legend. And yes, he fell for it. She gave him the blown surprise and shat all over his face! It was EPIC!!
by Bobby the Bug Man September 22, 2020
Get the blown surprisemug. When a male, usually a teenage boy, is interacting with a female counterpart and gets so excited that he squirts a load in his pants before even seeing a nipple.
This is also known to happen to introverted Boy Scouts in a strip club before the song even starts.
This is also known to happen to introverted Boy Scouts in a strip club before the song even starts.
- Hey girl, how did things go with that boy you met at the party last night?
- Well, I had him take me to my apartment after we left. Things were going great and we were flirting hardcore. We made out all the way up the steps to my front door. When we got there, he was acting nervous and that's when I noticed...
- Oh shit, did he squearly?
- Yep, totally squearlied through his khakis.
- That's so embarrassing!
- Well, after that, I was pissed. I made him take off his pants and underwear and told him to put on the panties I was wearing then sent him to the couch to sleep. After that, I called my fuck-buddy to come over and took it in the ass with my bedroom door open so that wuss could hear how a real man does thing.
- Damn girl, you're savage as fuck!
- Sure am...considering I had that wuss take my fuck-buddy home after I got done rimming him.
- Well, I had him take me to my apartment after we left. Things were going great and we were flirting hardcore. We made out all the way up the steps to my front door. When we got there, he was acting nervous and that's when I noticed...
- Oh shit, did he squearly?
- Yep, totally squearlied through his khakis.
- That's so embarrassing!
- Well, after that, I was pissed. I made him take off his pants and underwear and told him to put on the panties I was wearing then sent him to the couch to sleep. After that, I called my fuck-buddy to come over and took it in the ass with my bedroom door open so that wuss could hear how a real man does thing.
- Damn girl, you're savage as fuck!
- Sure am...considering I had that wuss take my fuck-buddy home after I got done rimming him.
by Bobby the Bug Man May 12, 2021
Get the squearlymug. When a man has just pulled up to a urinal in a public restroom and has a gas bubble drop to the back gate at the same time as the flow is about to start. At this moment, a friend walks in and calls you out by name. Now your identity is revealed to others that are in the stalls. With this happening, you can no longer let the brown cloud come flapping out. The only thing you can do is limit the flow with enough squeeze on the urethra that didn’ doesn’t compromise the rectum seal.
Fuck man, my boss walked in to bathroom right when I pulled up to the urinal. A gas bubble dropped and I was working the valves to save myself from an embarrassing fart.
by Bobby the Bug Man March 23, 2022
Get the working the valvesmug. When you're taking a huge, long dump and are trying to pinch off the last little turd, but you keep pushing it back in.
Sorry guys that I took so long in there. I got into a peekapoo battle with the last nugget and couldn't punch it off. I ended up giving up. It'll have to wait until next time!
by Bobby the Bug Man August 8, 2020
Get the Peekapoomug. When you're taking a shit and dropping nuggets that look like 7 Skittles of different colors smushed together with several single Skittle rat turds between nuggets.
Fuck dude, I just took a skittle shit. The first nugget made me taste the rainbow. I need to drink more water before bed. That was brutal.
by Bobby the Bug Man February 18, 2021
Get the skittle shitmug.