Someone who wears Christianity like makeup... to hide the ugly person they really are.
Did you hear Leslie preaching the gospel right after cussing Allen behind his back? Yea...She's such a Lipstick Christian.
The changing in the value of money after entering Walt Disney World.
Husband...."I just spent over three hundred dollars to get my family and me into Walt Disney World. And, now they want me to pay fifteen dollars for a pen with Mickey on it? It took three hours to earn that much money."
Wife......."Stop being a tight wad. You're not spending real world money. You're spending Disney money."
The hard to rinse bubbles that remain on the back of a man's balls when he exits the shower.
Damn it. I've got ball back bubbles. Do I get back in the shower? Naw, towel will get em.
Low grade jenkem. Jenkem conconced from sinking turds.
I can't believe I bought a batch of sinker jenkem. I'm going back to that retirement home and shooting the janitor that sold it to me.
When gay people hate on the members of their group for not being gay enough.
Jeffry got mad at me today because I wouldn't wear that sun dress in front of my father. He's so full of gaytred.
Young black athletes that don't follow Catholicism, but attend Catholic high schools, or colleges to play their sport.
College recruiter....."Hey Derrik, we at Notre Dame would like for you to come play basketball for us next year."
Derrik..........."I'd love to play for Notre Dame. But, I'm not Catholic."
College recruiter......"That's okay. You don't have to be Catholic. You can be Blatholic."
The number that lies half way between twenty and fifty...Or thirty five.
Dude, your milf sister is hot. How old is she?
Dude, you haven't been missing any meals lately. How many lb's you sportin?
Bout two twifty.