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Definitions by Bed Time

Safe with the bank 

When struggling to keep enough funds in your account and playing the float, knowing for a certain period of time (a day or more) that any check you have written will not bounce, and therefore having some peace of mind for that period of time.
I just deposited $100 into my account, so I am "safe with the bank" until Monday.

The check for the rent will not clear until Friday, the day I am getting paid, so until then, I am safe with the bank.
Safe with the bank by Bed time March 3, 2011

texecute 

Execute, if done by the state of Texas.
The state of Texas is going to texecute someone with a questionable conviction
texecute by Bed time October 26, 2010

spanking 

A stop by a police unit, usually a state trooper, for a traffic violation
He got a spanking for driving 20 mph over the speed limit.

She got a spanking for running a red light.
spanking by Bed time September 15, 2010

Jewish time

Not perfectly on time; possibly somewhat late, but no harm is done as a result. The implication is that there is no need to be exactly on time, and starting a little late is acceptable.

The term comes from Jewish culture, which is often relaxed about punctuality.

When an event is schedule to take place at 2:00 Jewish time, it could be at 2:05, 2:12, 2:15, or even 2:35, and everyone is satisfied.
The wedding will start at 6:00 PM Jewish time.

We will meet in the lobby at 4:30 Jewish time.
Jewish time by Bed time August 9, 2010

cane fraud 

Faking the appearance of a disability by walking with or carrying a cane when not needed.

Common and easy to pull off because canes are cheap, and can cost under $10.

Usually done for the following reasons:
-To gain sympathy from onlookers
-To get a physician to declare one disabled
-To obtain a handicapped parking permit
-To be given priority in line or obtain priority seating reserved for the disabled (such as on a bus or train)
-To use electric shopping carts reserved for the disabled when in reality too lazy to walk
-To fraudulently obtain various disability benefits such as discounts or government handouts
I think my neighbor may be committing cane fraud. She sometimes walks with a cane and appears to struggle, and sometimes runs out to her car with no cane as if she is in a hurry to get somewhere.
cane fraud by Bed time July 26, 2010

pooping bus

A public bus (usually an intercity route) that has no bathroom and that goes for a significant amount of time (say an hour or longer, sometimes several hours) without making any stops to allow passengers to use the restroom.

These buses are called pooping buses because not everyone can hold it in for the long ride, leading some passengers to go in their pants.
When riding on a pooping bus, wearing a diaper is recommended.
pooping bus by Bed time June 27, 2010

Gruv's Disease 

A neurological condition in which a patient suffers sporadic outbursts of anger starting in one's middle age.

Sufferers are known to be calm throughout their lives and never get angry until some time in their 40s thru 60s. This all ends with an outburst of verbal anger, typically directed against those known to the patient, in which victims feel threatened.

After first outburst, a few years will typically pass until the next outburst. Intervals between outbursts will divide in half from then on, until patient becomes unmanageable and must be institutionalized.

There is no known cure or treatment for this condition.

Not inherited, but occurs in white and black people, mostly those of Slavic, Mediterranean, and African descent, and never in Asians or Native Americans.
My brother had to be put in a nursing home because he had Gruv's Disease.
Gruv's Disease by Bed time June 23, 2010