Erect Then Shag

Slander name for Erik Ten Hag, manager of Manchester United.

He is known for only getting players who are either Dutch, have played for Ajax or have been linked to any of his other previous clubs.
Ten Hag: Harry Maguire is still a part of our project.

Man Utd fan: Erect Then Shag is on fraudwatch
by Bandz The Lord July 31, 2023
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007

0 goals
0 assists
7 games

Stat for shit football players.

When a player transfers to a different club, either a rival or for a high price tag, the media begins counting.

Famous examples include Jadon Sancho for Manchester United, and recently Kai Havertz for Arsenal.
Chelsea fan: Let’s all laugh at Kai Havertz’ 007

Arsenal fan: You’re 14th in the league.
by Bandz The Lord September 26, 2023
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TheEuropeanLad

TheEuropeanLad is a jobless incel who sits inside all day watching up to 10 football games simultaneously and tweeting about them. He is a Dutch Ajax fan, and is constantly angry due to their horrid performances, like losing to fourth division side USV Hercules.

He also dickrides Lionel Messi who doesn’t know he exists, always tweeting pointless updates about him, e.g Messi having a haircut. In addition, he likes to drool over Messi’s wife Antonella, likely due to the fact that he can’t pull a female to save his life.
TheEuropeanLad: Antonella is unreal man. Gave birth to 3 sons and goes back to looking 10/10.
Random FT user: Perv
by Bandz The Lord January 14, 2024
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Mudryk

Mykhailo Mudryk is a Ukrainan refugee who acts like a footballer.

English club Chelsea FC bought him for 100 million euros in January, with parts of the money going to Ukrainan soldiers.

He has since his debut scored a grand total of ZERO (0) goals and provided 2 assists in 17 games in all competitions for Chelsea.
Mudryk is absolutely useless when he’s not facing 40 year old James Milner or other fellow Ukrainian refugees.
by Bandz The Lord July 13, 2023
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