Gateway touch

A gateway touch is a good way to touch a woman and figure out if you can keep touching and talking sexual with her at work without getting reported, often starts with a subliminal massage.

Hey look at me I'm a d**k. I work in local government. Think I might start with a gateway touch and then ask the women to go swimming, maybe talk about fetishes, maybe I will run my finger up her leg, maybe put my body up against her body, maybe bring a book about vagina and pubic hair to work, maybe call her magic fingers in a meeting, see if it makes her uncomfortable, I did the gateway touch and she didn't report me, maybe I might tell her I can get it up. If she reports me I'll say lots of words like I can't remember, words like maybe and um and Uh. I should be able to get away with it.

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Matturbate

When you are a guy named Matt and your missus is hell pissed at you this is your new favorite verb.

Hey I'm Matt and I'm in the shit, guess I gonna go Matturbate

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Dicknesia

When a person has been a right asshole but seems to have no recollection of it

Soz Mal, I can't remember I mean I have Dicknesia

by Allegedly... November 05, 2019

Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

It's the words coming out of a local government when they realise there is no way she is signing an NDA

Woman : sorry means admitting EVERYTHING you did. I'm not signing that NDA. P.S. love that audio of you admitting enough you can't get me for defamation by speaking the truth

Matturbation : Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

CEO : Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

NDA

Non disclosure agreement

When you have done bad things and you and the CEO don't want people to know so you try and push a woman into signing an NDA

Hi I'm Mr Matturbation. I can't believe you won't drop this lawsuit. Sign the NDA FFS so my wife will believe my bullshit.

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Dumblecunt

When you are such a sick fuck perv that you give a woman the choice of nicknames Matturbation and Harry Frotteur to choose from.

That's right the Dumblecunt admitted to enough dirty shit on a tape that I possess that he can't sue me for defamation by calling him Harry Frotteur or Matturbation. Hahahahaha what a Dumblecunt

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Frisking permits

Get out of jail free cards for perverts (only valid at work)

CEO : Do you have any frisking permits to go with that sexual harassment complaint.

Harry Frotteur: fuck yes, you gave it to me

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019