10 definitions by Allegedly...

Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

It's the words coming out of a local government when they realise there is no way she is signing an NDA

Woman : sorry means admitting EVERYTHING you did. I'm not signing that NDA. P.S. love that audio of you admitting enough you can't get me for defamation by speaking the truth

Matturbation : Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

CEO : Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Gateway touch

A gateway touch is a good way to touch a woman and figure out if you can keep touching and talking sexual with her at work without getting reported, often starts with a subliminal massage.

Hey look at me I'm a d**k. I work in local government. Think I might start with a gateway touch and then ask the women to go swimming, maybe talk about fetishes, maybe I will run my finger up her leg, maybe put my body up against her body, maybe bring a book about vagina and pubic hair to work, maybe call her magic fingers in a meeting, see if it makes her uncomfortable, I did the gateway touch and she didn't report me, maybe I might tell her I can get it up. If she reports me I'll say lots of words like I can't remember, words like maybe and um and Uh. I should be able to get away with it.

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Dicknesia

When a person has been a right asshole but seems to have no recollection of it

Soz Mal, I can't remember I mean I have Dicknesia

by Allegedly... November 5, 2019

Frisking permits

Get out of jail free cards for perverts (only valid at work)

CEO : Do you have any frisking permits to go with that sexual harassment complaint.

Harry Frotteur: fuck yes, you gave it to me

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Matturbate

When you are a guy named Matt and your missus is hell pissed at you this is your new favorite verb.

Hey I'm Matt and I'm in the shit, guess I gonna go Matturbate

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

Harry Frotteur

Another name for a pervert who likes to put his body against women without their consent

Oh my god it's Harry Frotteur aka my old boss, quick run before he uses your body to get the hard on he says he can.

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019

CEO

Coverup Everything Officer

CEO : this is the Coverup Everything Officer speaking. Please bury the investigation report. The Freedom of Information request is refused.

FOI officer : the freedom of information request is refused. It will take us so many hours to stick paper in a photocopier and black out some words. It doesn't matter that you offered to pay for our time to take an already collated investigation file and copy it. It is a big job to photocopy shit we don't want you to see.

HR : not a problem.

Lawyer: no problem. We will continue to refuse access to the investigation report. After all access has been refused for a year and a half now.

by Allegedly... October 18, 2019